Sorry to delete your post Michael B. Something happened and there was a very long line of code in it that messed with the layout. It wouldn’t let me delete the single line, so I had to delete the entire post. No hard feelings bro.

Mike basically said- RUDE PEOPLE SUCK. I think he meant it too. He can explain when he comes back from supper.

Thank you. I wrote entirely under the influence of a fine keg of IBC. Entirely too quiet in here today. I have to disagree with you on Yates. I know it is a perilous road to separate a person from their brain chemistry, but I think it has to be done from time to time. Maybe its because my Dad was mentally ill and I saw a lot of this up close. There were nights I knew dad had a gun in his room and I couldn’t go to sleep, and as I grew older and understood more about mental illness, I realized that dad was under the influence of things that did affect his words and actions. I could convict her of murder, but not punish her the same as a rational, premeditated killer like Bin Laden.

Good article on Mary Jane. I used to provoke my students by telling them that there is no legal reason that marijuana use is against the law, but alcohol consumption is not. The key words (which some of them never seemed to hear) are no legal reason. It’s a historical fluke. But I find a definite moral reason not to use marijuana or any mind-altering substance. I always want people to contact my brother, in prison for his third felony (this one directly related to his recreational marijuana use) and ask him if the drug has no psychologically addictive properties. I think you are right, though, to question the “method” our government has for dealing with the problem—said method is pointless and neverending and impotent as far as any real change.
I don’t care if Andrea Yates is sane. Killing your children is heinous and she should die for it. Sorry, not very humanitarian, I know.

Sometime today I have the honor of calling Microsoft and begging for the privelege of installing the software I paid for on my second computer. I love XP, but this assimilation, uh… activation biz is rotten.

I have been listening to more CCM on the radio this week. Good grief. No wonder no one reads the Bible anymore. Techno-manipulative emotional spirituality. Gnosticism with a soundtrack.

I have a lot- I mean a lot- of “Christian” students who smoke weed, have regular sex and/or plan to live together after graduation. Should I challenge their entire commitment- right down to salvation? Or should I tell them they are Christians but in error? My Biblical read is if they know it is wrong (and they do know its wrong Biblically, just not in their mind/culture) their entire salvation is in question, since they are knowingly and consistently refusing the Lordship of Christ in an area where human nature does not compel them to do wrong.

Anyone think Andrea Yates will be found sane? I would hate to be this prosecutor.

Updates loaded. Both new articles on the page. The newly tweaked Flash front is up and running. Hope you enjoy all the new stuff. I hate to take “Fighting Words” off the main page because I think it is an important subject and I want as many people as possible to read it.

Tomorrow I am continuing a preaching series on “Christianity and Other Beliefs.” I am doing Jehovah’s Witnesses, and also talking about characteristics of cultic behavior. Its been a good series.

My wife laughed all through Rigney’s new article. I am not sure why. What is so funny about a woman afraid of $6.66 on the Macdonald’s cash register?

IM will be updated before I go to bed tonight. My new article on Marijuana….uhh about marijuana is finished. So you will have two new articles to pass along to your innocent children.

Great response Eric. You know this family. Your words have a lot of resonance with me. Lloyd-Jones said that what we know about God has to guide us when we don’t understand (or like) his actions and permissions. That was my message on 9/16 and it applies here.

You know when Kentucky makes Drudge it is going to be good. It is. Looks like the nephew of some senator got a job as a security officer at LIA. Here is the result. zzzzzzzz.

Dear raptured Bart: You make me happy. Your rapture and subsequent BHT submission proves that the Boar’s Head exists in (or is at least accessible from) heaven!
It’s good to be back. Although I’m thinking of changing my email address—I had like 200 messages waiting, only three of which I was interested in reading (and only one of those that I was looking forward to). SPAM be d%*@ed!
Michael, I don’t envy you having to deal with the question you mentioned. The absolute worst thing that I can imagine happening to me (even worse than Hell, at least as I conceive of it now, which I’m sure is not a millionth as bad as it will actually be) is the death of my child (and no, it doesn’t make me nervous to mention that—read my superstition article!). So I would hate to speak on that issue with someone who has lost a child, because I really have no idea how they feel, and I would be afraid of seeming clueless and callous and flippant.
I also wouldn’t want to get in that conversation because what I think is the truth on the matter is not very touchy-feely, to say the least. I don’t even particularly like what I think is the truth. I think the answer is that God is God, and He can do whatever He wants. We are the ones who assign parameters to His actions. We think that people should live this amount of time and only suffer this much. But we are tiny people on a tiny plant in a huge universe, which is itself probably one of many such universes, all of which combined are infinitely smaller and less important than God and His “least important” action or thought, to say nothing of His omnipotent Plan. So when we try to say that this person died prematurely and that person suffered more than they should have, we are assigning strictly human terms to life and death.
Having said that, I realize that we are very much confined to our finite selves, and that pain is experienced in the context of our finite minds and finite understandings. So knowing who God is and that He is infinite and Hid plans are infinitely unknowable doesn’t always help with the day-to-day suffering we experience (even if it “should”). I also think God understands that and therefore does not get angry or bothered when someone questions Him and even gets angry (as long as the anger is not spurred by nor causes sin).
Wow, what a load. I mean, I believe it all, but man, that’s heavy stuff for a fun Blogger-type thing! I just have to say that I am glad that a) I have never lost a child, and b) I am not having to explain things to someone who has. Best of luck (and no, not in the literal sense—read my article!)

Yahoo! is reporting this morning that Blacks rank Clinton ahead of Lincoln as a great President…............ Someone will have to make a rational explanation of that for me. Can anyone name one single thing Bill Clinton did for this country? Don’t start in with the prosperity of the 90’s unless you can show me what Clinton had to do with it. Don’t say balanced budgets because without a GOP congress it would have never happened. He did nothing that history will remember except recieve oral sex in the Oval office. Now THAT takes leadership.

What are Black Americans thinking about? I’ll tell you. As I say in a recent IM piece, what counts in that culture is the empowerment of the illusion of victimization, and Clinton was the greatest at that. He never stopped underlining the vicitimized and oppressed status of African-Americans. He kissed up to the merchants of misery (Jackasson, Not-so-Sharpton) and would have handed Fort Knox over as reparations if he could. Lincoln freed the slaves. Clinton told Black America they were still slaves and gol-ly he sure felt their pain; here have a check. My fellow citizens, your people (and our nation) never had a WORSE president than this guy. Tell yourself the truth please.

HERE IT IS. Before the general public sees it at IM. Only for the BHT. Rigney’s new piece on Religous Superstition. Enjoy it. It is a good one.

Just so you guys know, I was raptured (friday). I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to get all of that self loathing stuff started again. Sorry guys, I had enough faith.

About those “blank check” Bible verses…Yes, we’ve had friends in the past who were told by supposedly well-meaning Christian relatives that their incredibly severely developmentally disabled baby wasn’t being miraculously healed because they didn’t have enough faith. In the words of Berke Brethed’s Bill the Cat, “Oop! Aack!” I think some people believe that the “if you have faith” phrases in those verses refers to “if you have enough faith that God will answer this particular prayer just the way you want it answered.” It’s NOT that! It’s not faith in your own faith, or faith in your ability to prayerfully manipulate a confused God. It’s faith in a totally sovereign Lord. Faith that He can do whatever He wills. Faith to accept whatever answer He gives. Just some of my thoughts on this very difficult subject.

Rigney was sighted in Oneida this a.m. By now he should be on his way home. Hopefully he’ll resurface shortly.

So, where is Rigney’s article that we have been hearing about for days now?

WE WANT RIG-NEY. . . WE WANT RIG-NEY . . . WE WANT RIG-NEY . . .

Does this mean the Son has come and we’ve been left behind?

I wish we’d all been ready.

So that’s why I’m having such a bad day :-(

“Any truly repentant Christian has a righ to full remission of penalty and guilt, even without indulgence letters.” Martin Luther 95 Thesis (Thesis 36)

Didn’t mean to jump on ya brother.

Someone, please hand me an Ale-8.

Just in case you missed it, the world ended Friday. (I knew it was a bad day.)

Oh this is rich. A Male Sexuality class has been suspended at that bastion of educational excellence, UC Berekley, after, uhh… well, let’s just say I know why Rigney is in Higher Education. I’m suddenly thinking of re-enrolling myself. MALE SEXUALITY CLASS. Only in Cali would you need a class in that. Read it!

BTW: On Deck at IM: Rigney on “Religious Superstitution” and me on “Are We Wrong About Marijuana?”

Grant me a plenary indulgence there MBirch ;) It is that rare case where I didn’t say enough. I was not commending the NICI crowd, I was simply observing that if you hear a preacher teaching on those texts, it is usually the TBN/DuPlantis/Creflo Dollar (!)/Binny Hinn/Freddy Price/Ken Copeland Committee for the propogation of heresy. They use the texts all the time, word for word as is. They don’t shy away from THOSE words of scripture though they certainly do others. Most other evangelicals avoid these texts like the plague because they are uncomfortable with the implications and the pastoral questions raised, like those of my friend. If I didn’t believe in the sovereignty of God, I would avoid them as well. As you can hopefully see from the points listed below, I think these texts can be preached in the theological framework of the entire Bible without compromise. So no commendations issued. In fact my life verse is “There is therefore now no commendation for those who are on TBN.” (Loose translation of Romans 8:1)

For my views on th TBN crowd, read Evangelical Skunks in the IM archive. (Nice picture of Jan on that one. What a hottie!)

As I was reading Mike B’s post it occurred to me that folks like Paul & Jan, Benny, Pat Robertson etc. are a lot like priests in the Roman Catholic Church around Luther’s time. Aren’t their appeals for money in exchange for spiritual blessings a modern version of indulgences?

You appear to commend the “name it claim it” pastors and teachers for taking these difficult text “head on.” Taking a portion of Scripture out of context in order to advance a heretical claim that strips God of His sovereignty and places it in the hands of man is hardly taking these Scriptures “head on.” After all, when you take a text out of context, all you are left with is a con. That is exactly what these people are: a bunch of cons.

Of course, if your student didn’t have enough faith to implement these “promises” himself, he could have written the “name it claim its” and they would have “ageed with him for his need,” then God would have been required to subject himself to your student’s authority. And don’t forget, a nice fat check or money order made payable to the “name it claim it” would have sped up the process “thirty, sixty, a hundred fold.” WHAT A BUCNH OF CRAP! I’ve got a verse for these people to take head on: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel land and sea to win one proselyte, and when he is won, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselve.” (Matt 23:15). I wonder if I send them a nice fat check, would they “agree with me” that this Scripture speaks directly to them?

Furhtermore, the “name it claim its” may take these scriptures head on, but they avoid other portions of Scripture that rebut their heresies (i.e. 2 Cor. 11:7-10; Phil 4:10-13; and the entire Book of Job, particularly Chps. 38-41) like Bill Clinton avoids a deposition.

As we went through those texts yesterday, it occured to me that the only pastors and teachers who will take those texts head on are the “name it claim it” crowd. Another reason I am glad to preach through books of the Bible so the hard texts can’t be dodged. We are charged to preach the whole counsel of God, and most never intend to. Most also avoid dealing with the sovreignty of God, and its implications in these areas. The Bible is full of people wrestling with God over the issue of why bad things occured. But we keep a cheerful face on the church and rarely acknowledge that God appears silent, even absent at times. (Where is a worship chorus on that? O yeah- the Psalms.)

Some of my points yesterday.
1) God decided to let us live in a fallen world, with death, disease and pain as part of the deal. There is no way out of that world. It is the world where the Christian life operates and the Gospel is not a magic bullet to change all that right now. (Please tell Benny Hinn.)
2) Look at the prayers prayed by people who knew those words of Jesus. They aren’t prayers for optional personal matters, but prayer for things God will always answer: missions, evangelism, Christian growth. The mountains God will move are the mountains He wants moved.
3) Look at those prayers and the Lord’s prayer. Before any requests, there is the acknowledgement of God’s sovereignty. “Your Kingdom on Earth…Your Will.” When God says ask anything, he isn’t making us sovereign. I have students who hate rain. Even though we are in a drought cycle, they would pray for no rain. Is God going to answer such a prayer? My kids may hear me say, “Ask for anything you want and I’ll do it.” OK, we want to go to Disney, have $1000 spending money and never go to school again. I will say “That’s not on my ist of anything. Ask for something that is.”

I too have no idea how I would respond to your student. Of course, the “name it, claim it” crowd would say your student didn’t have enough faith to implement God’s word. So, not only does the poor man suffer the loss of a child, he also suffers the pain of having these HERETICS imply that it’s his fault the child died. That’s what really, REALLY, bothers me about these so-called men and women of God. Instead of reexamining their heretical doctrine, they inflict more pain on the suffering when their “name it, claim it” doctrine falls apart. Wow, what good shepherds. NOT!

If you are a regular reader of the page and have IM in your favorites or bookmarks, then change the addy to www.internetmonk.com/home.

Does anyone else hate voice mail as much as I do? If you can’t say it to my face don’t voice mail me you cowards. I won’t use the thing, even though we have had it for almost three years. There are people who do all their work messaging people who can’t say “Wait!! Stop!! That is the stupideset idea I have ever heard!” Instead, you are supposed to message back as if this were an intelligent conversation. Really ideal for dictators.

The intro looks great! Change the link to IM on the BHT page to reflect http://www.internetmonk.com/home.htm. That way, IM users will not have to see the intro every time.
As to what you would say to this person…I don’t know. You would know better than I how to extend God’s grace. It seems to me that every time we suffer, every time we encounter something that is unfathomable in our lives, it is because we are being prepared for some other task within the scope of whatever God’s will is. I believe that nothing happens for no reason. However, I also do not have any type of “Eye of the Tiger” pull up your boot straps words of encouragement. I haven’t been where he is.

I have to figure out what day is going to be a Sabbath for me. Sunday doesn’t work. Three hours of teaching/preaching today, then preparation for six hours of the same tomorrow. I need a day in between.

Rigney turned up at church, along with his daughter. Rigney is so bad lookng, and his daughter is so cute, that the Mrs. must be a 14 (on the official 10 point scale) because there was a LOT of ground to make up. He still remembered the Apostle’s Creed. He is celebrating Diversity Day and Black History Month as he is told to do, but there was no glassy look in the eyes. All in all, remarkably sober, considering where he has been.

At my adult Bible study today we looked at the “Blank Check” passages. :

Mark 9:23 3 And Jesus said to him, “If you can! All things are possible for one who believes.”
Matthew 21:21-22 21 And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. 22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”
John 14:12-14 12 “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. 13 Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

One of my class members lost a child to Leukemia shortly before coming to OBI, and these passages are not exactly a comfort to him. Your thoughts?

Chip, if you call me Mr. Spencer on here, it is going to keep the room cracked up. Please call me Michael. With three Micahel’s in the house it is an all purpose name. (I know that I am ancient as compared to a recent college grad like yourself, but humor me.)

I believe several readers are more urinated at me over the CCM article than I am hearing about. C’mon people. E-mail me or get on the BHT or do like one guy did and call me up! I can take it. Really….let’s talk amongst ourselves.

I am well aware that at those churches where contemporary worship music is most used it has often been a positive instrument for much good, including church and personal growth. So if you think my ranting in that article is an indictment of God’s blessing on you or your church, please know that is not the case. But it is part of my calling as a writer to get people to think differently and to see diffferently. A lot of boomer Christians who have embraced the whole CCM worship revolution have not spent 30 minutes thinking about the issues I raise. I’m not calling your pastor names unless he has run over your church like a maniac in an eighteen wheeler demanding all CCM or else. If your church wants all CCM then praise be (especially on the part of the merchants in the temple courtyard.). You’re choosing to live on all Twinkies and Snickers, but it will work. You are allowed to do that and draw a big crowd. Please don’t assume I despise all churches that successfully have embraced CCM. I don’t. God is big and generous and gracious to all of us no matter what music we like. I am just exercising my God-given, American right to rent a web site and raise questions that very few people are raising. Thank you. And by the way… read the second article. And the one on Fighting Words. And the Last Gasp of Literate Christianity. And Evangelical Skunks. And My Last Visit to a Christian Bookstore.

I will sit for a brief history of the Blue Hen, or at least a good link.

The conversation at the Dialogue Box seems to have come to an abrupt end. My partner in conversation seems to have wearied. Hopefully, someone somewhere will be blessed by all the effort.

An early bedtime tonight. Up early to teach Psalm 117 at 8 a.m. to my Bible Study group. Then preach at 11 on Mark 9:38-42.

Continually impressed by Rich Mullins’ words in “Creed”: “I did not make it, No it is making me. It is the very Word of God and not the invention of any man.” Such brash claims of certainty are dangerous in the times in which we live. If I said I saw nothing wrong with abortion because there is no such thing as truth, I would qualify to be editor of the New Yord Times. But if I say there is truth and it does not change and you can know it and you must obey it or be judged, well then I am a dangerous barbarian on the level with a terrorist. Yet, on which of these things does one dare to build a life these days? So many of those around us are only pretending to be on solid ground. They are like people walking on ice that has broken off. Those of us who work with the children of this generation know what is happening. As T.S. Elliot said, we have become hollow men.

BTW, here is a nice site with the Daily Prayer service out of the Book of Common Prayer for every day with the readings and songs etc. I link to it all the time.

If you want to see what we have so far it is here. May take a couple of tries to get it all loaded in. More work…..

I am involved in the most frustrating conversation in history over at the Dialogue Box. The thread is called Positional Perspective. Make sure you read both pages. Maybe some of you can tell me what I am doing wrong.

Bart and I are about to get the new flash intro up for IM, so if you hit it while we are working on it don’t get mad. Once we get it up and running, if you want to bypass the intro totally on your own links, you can change to www.internetmonk.com/home.htm. Of course there will be bypass links on the flash front page. But right now it all runs as usual. Patience while I prepare to further frighten innocent surfers.

Welcome to Chip Yoder, joining the table here at the BHT. Give that man an order of fried Blue Hen.

I think we’ve been attacked by aliens for the last couple of hours.
When I see Rigney this weekend I will report on his condition. These past few months of the Bohemian lifestyle must have taken a sad toll.
MBirch- Such advanced research is possible. Convene the Clinton White House staff for a couple of hours of socializing. Then drug test.
Is there anything for which evangelicals will not applaud?

Awww, man! I have to leave the Boar’s Head for a while. I’ll be away from a computer until Monday sometime. Y’all save me some peanuts and IBC and maybe a Coke or two. And make sure you tip the innskeep.

Good morning everyone.
CNN is reporting that scientists at UCLA found that cocaine speeds up the rate at which the AIDS virus spreads through the bodies of mice and that the same phenomenon probably occurs in humans but proving it would be difficult. So what’s the point? That’s right kids: mice with aids shouldn’t snort cocaine.

Ale-8 is the liquid manifestation of eternal damnation.
Mike, I just sent my latest drivel to your campusminister email…

Sorry, but I only perform in the BHT lounge on Friday nights after many Ale 8s.

THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT!

Hey Mike- I sang the song. Twice. Then I got my son and we sang the song twice right here in my living room. And if you turn up at my church sunday, I will consider letting you sing it to the congregation.

Well, I have been running a youth group meeting from 7 till 10:15. I am exhausted. You guys have to cheer me up, because I drank all the IBC.

wow . . . tough room :-(

I’m glad someone finally mentioned Ale 8 One. I hated that stuff when I first moved here, but I love it now. I think Martin Luther would have nominated Garfield as his animal idea of God (well, pre-justification Martin) and Martin would have been Odie.

All this talk about animals and CCM makes me want to sing one of my favorite tunes. Y’all join in now.

Sing this song slowly and with emotion. Kind of like Sunday mornings on the mountain radio stations. (How did you describe it, Michael S? “Led Zeppelin unplugged, but still intoxicated”)

If anyone has an out of tune guitar, feel free to pluck along. Ready . . .

We was drivin down the road,
Doin what would please us.
Talkin bout the wise men,
How they found baby Jesus.

We was on our way,
To do some gigs.
Hit the brakes too late,
runned over some pigs.

. . . EVERYBODY NOW . . .

Pigsss. . . Pigssss,
got nothin again em
but if you’ns have any pigs
ya oughter learns how to pin em

Buy you a watch dog,
and name that dog rover.
to keeps your pigs off the road,
so they don’ts git runned overrrrrrr . . .errrrrrrr . . er . . . errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Thank ya. Thank ya very much.

The Fierce Grail Rabbit.

Mr. Ed, (“Wilburrrrrrrr…Come Follow me.)
For feminists..Lassie (who also saves humans.)
Free Salvation Willie
Babe the Pig
Rizzo the Rat (more like Satan actually)
Smokey the Bear (“Repent of your sins kids, or you’ll burn in hell.”)

The ascribing of human characteristics to animals is probably one of the stupidest things that I have ever hears of and\or witnessed. These people must be à¸? baked. As was mentioned before, if animals a capable of cognitive process, then they too were born into sin. Therefore, their species requires salvation and, thus, a savior of their own. I can’t imagine why God didn’t send doggie Jesus and kitty Jesus (et al) when he sent the human Jesus. Therefore, we should nominate the two of them…DUN-DUN-DA-NA-NA:

Doggie Jesus: Rin Tin Tin
Kitty Jesus: Morris The Cat

(Feel Free To nominate For Other Breeds)


Don’t get me wrong, I love Animals. Especially the ones the serve at the local Chinese restaurant…maybe that’s were the dog ran off to.

As a devout carnivore, it pains me to admit that since there will not be any death or killing, we will all be vegitarians in the kingdom of Heaven.

“The cow and the bear shall graze; their young shall lie down together; and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.”—Isaiah 11:7

Kinda makes we want to sing a little song (to the tune, “In Heaven There is no Beer”).

In Heaven we won’t eat cows,
That’s why I eats them nows.

By the way, I’ll take an Ale-8 with that cow.

Valentine’s Day:
Wife: Mushy card, Pizza, gift card to Dillards so that she and Sarah can get a pre birth event pedicure
Son: Card, candy, a book for his leap pad
Daughter: Card, Candy, a book for her leap pad

I like hard Liquor, dark thick beer, and… I can’t think of anything else more important in life than those two.

Here is one of my real hopes for the future: My experience in Southern Baptist land is that we largely left music to the “ministers of music” and the musicians, while pastors, elders/deacons and the folks in the pew usually only spoke up when they REALLY liked it or REALLY didn’t like it. What I hope for is a Reformation of the church that comes up from Bible study, reading, preaching, etc and extends TO music and public worship. I feel that what is happening now, especially in the experiences of many churches, is very top down in a heavy handed way. In the original Reformation, music came up from the theological Reformation. For the last XX number of years, music has strongly influenced theology and preaching, and it should be vice versa. We need musicians coming up out of the church and serving the church, particularly the local church. We need a reformation that extends the Lordship of Christ to the arts and invites artists to create for the church as an expression of our message and worldview. That was what happened in the “golden age” of church music following the Reformation when the church had the best musicians. I hope that the interest in music I sense among many younger church leaders can be transformed and undergirded with a concern for the Biblical presentation of God.

By the way, did I mention that it was a REAL salmon on the card, and not one of those fake singing fish?

The animal rights crowd took me on in class today. A very articulate and intelligent student led the charge and lesser minds joined in. The crux of the matter seemed to be that Christianity teaches cruelty and abuse of animals by its insistence that humans rule over the animal Kingdom. He pointed out that the original creation mandate was no meat, and that humans and animals are much more alike than different.

I said that you don’t need scripture to observe the difference in animal and human nature. While there is some “genetic overlap,” there is no doubt that humans are moral choosing creatures and animals are not. I used the illustration of a person shoplifting and pleading that they couldn’t stop themselves. On the other hand, if a dog takes a candy bar from a child, we don’t consider it a moral choice. Also, the animal kingdom benefits from human stewardship when we manage creation compassioanately and wisely. Humans do more than cut down trees and make parking lots. If the world were left to animals, there would be a balance, but it would be less than paradise. It would be like Massachusetts. I said that the case for vegatarianism is rational, not Biblical, because God allows the eating of meat and never relates it to sin. It is a neutral but I have no problem with it. I also said animals cannot make moral choices so they do not have rights. When people see such things in animals, they are reading in human nature to animals. The animal rights movement is another compassionate trip for liberals.

They didn’t buy it. So I just said I love animals. They’re delicious.

Hey Michael, I think this one is from your infamous imposter, too. ;)

Michael didn’t quite tell the whole story. Actually, he told me that my valentine was getting to spend time with him. Believe it or not, that was good enough for me. (Seriously!) The salmon card was very sweet, and he had already given me an early box of candy and a romantic Chinese dinner. So he was considerably more generous than he’s letting on. I gave him a small box of chocolate…which he couldn’t eat till today ‘cause it was already past his “carb hour” by the time I gave it to him. Thoughtless me. Belated Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone. I’m just glad we’re temporarily away from the gross food topic!

Since he is attempting to populate a small country with his genetic descendents, I think Bart should speak up on the abstinence issue.

I would say Guiness too, if I drank. Unfortunately, the number of people in my family who have not done, eaten, killed, drank, sat upon, or molested something while intoxicated is very small. So alas, I do not partake, save for the occasional glass of wine with dinner. And don’t worry, there are multiple reasons to hate MTV. I think your problem is narrowing it down.

Obviously there is NO plan that will keep kids from having sex. (Believe me we try around here) and I am not out and out opposed to condom use being explained to a generation that has a collective practical IQ of -54. I just don’t know what in the heck the Sec of State is doing wasting his time on America’s longest running commercial.
BTW, Guinness is allowed. You just can’t drive anyone home.

I just read an article on MSNBC.com about an MTV special last night in which Colin Powell supported the use of condoms. The main focus, however, was how upset Bush and his right-wing friends and advisors are going to be. My first thought while I was reading was, “Man, I HATE MTV!” Not because Powell was pushing condoms but because it’s MTV. I used to watch it all the time: Real World, Road Rules, Celebrity Death Match, Beavis and Butthead, and the 3 videos they play once a day. I would rather eat spaghetti out of a … well, nevermind. I wish I could place my finger on the cause of my MTV hatred but I guess I’m going to have to think about it. Anyway, does anyone care that Powell was advocating condoms? I have some strange ideas regarding abstinence (well, not to me) and I’ve made more than one person mad, but I’ll save that for later.

As far as my drink of choice, I’d say Guiness, but I had to sign a forced morality code before coming here. Coke would be my next choice, but I’m on a diet so I have to go with water.

Rob- we need a report on the circus over here ;-) Did the dreaded fear of clowns (that has cursed Rigney for years) appear in any form?
I gave Denise a card of a salmon swimming upstream. It speaks for itself.

Morning everyone. I see that the Secretary of State went on MTV to advocate condoms. I like this guy, and I have written positively about him, but what the heck does the secretary of State need to be on MTV for? Can’t someone in the White House say “Hey- this is NOT something we need to do!” I am surprised they didn’t ask him about penis size or some other important issue to the MTV generation. Please GOP- stay off of MTV. YOU ARE NOT COOL! (But if you gotta send somebody, send Rumsfeld, who would at least know how to heckle back.)

I am glad to get the second worship article up. I’ve needed to write those for some time. I am in a discussion over at The Dialogue Box that you may find interesting. You can read it in the thread “Positional Perspective” and a new thread, “Corner on Truth.” I think the topic represents an interesting aspect of the post-modern situation: believing in Jesus when you aren’t sure anyone can know anything at all, including you.

I drink cold IBC in the brown bottle. The rest of you?

My Valentine expenditures: For my wife: a bottle of Coke, two chocolates, a scratch-off lottery ticket (!), and a card that has a guy on the front trying to wave down a flying saucer, saying, “Take me! Take me!” The aliens respond, “No. You’re ugly.” I wrote inside, Thanks for taking me anyway. For my daughter: a Scooby-Doo card and a small box of Snoopy candy. Sometimes simple is better (especially when you’re cheap).
BTW, I drink Coke, usually. Boring, I know. I also like a good vanilla milk shake.

I have now posted the second article on contemporary worship music. I will also buy Rob an IBC. BTW, I think we should say what we drink around here so I will know what to stock.
Valentine’s Day- a day on which I know Bart and Eric way outdid me on expenditures on their Valentine’s.

You know, Freud would say that this whole discussion is the result our inability to face the fact that we created the god we worship and that the progression of music being discussed is the natural adaptation of our creation to meet the needs of the next generation of myth propagators. I guess him a Carl Sagan are spending a great deal of time discussing the point at which they should have known that they were wrong…between torture sessions I mean.

Rob- I will discuss till the cows come home (or wander in Rigney’s yard) so have at it. I do not feel bashed. (I save that for work.)

Since the altar call is an unbiblical invention nowhere commanded in scripture, even one verse of the truly horrible “Softly and Tenderly” is too much. Rewrite that into: “The King says Surrender. Now.” Really, all music specifically written for invitations and altar calls is a great example of the problems I diagnose in article II. Invitationalism is manipulation by definition and has no Biblical warrant. “Jesus is here at the front. Come and get him!” This is why the church is full of people who will be vewy vewy supwised on judgement day.

I agree with Eric. When Biblical proclamation and content are presented in the power of the Spirit, the emotions will be and should be engaged. (I am a Christan Hedonist!) But the worship leader planning mantras and picking songs that are emotionally manipulative by intent is morally wrong, and one of the prime problems with evangelicalism. We have let the Pentecostals lead us way astray. To see the end result of this, look at Rod Parsley’s church. Good grief, it’s frightening. It’s manipulation to the point of frenzy and they call it the Holy Spirit. Evangelicals have really lost that one. Spurgeon knew how to present Christ to the mind and heart and engage the emotions, but he hated emotionalism and rejected invitationalism. Modern worship gurus actually say they are “preparing” the congregation for the word. Gee, thanks for taking over that part of the Holy Spirit’s job.

And as for lumping, I am not writing an article separating all CCM according to this issue. I know there is a big difference from artist to artist, and I believe I addressed that earlier.

I know I keep butting in here, so you all can lock me in the Boar’s Head bathroom and I’ll shut up (or at least yell through the door, which will be easier to ignore).
I think God manipulating your emotions is one thing. But when people manipulate your emotions—well, people manipulating people is seldom a good thing. I think that a person manipulating another person’s emotions is downright shameful in a worship setting. Don’t get me wrong—if the content of the sermon or the scripture or the song moves you to emotion or convicts you so that you become emotional, that is God moving, and I thank Him for it. He knows when I need to be manipulated, how much, and how to do it in just the right amount. I think the responsibility of worship leaders, songs, programs, etc, is to bring glory to God and magnify His name. If we get emotional, that’s great. But songs, etc, that are designed to make people get emotional—blecch. They too often are plain irresponsible (sinful?) and lead to false professions, etc. That’s one of the legion of problems with the “invitation.” Oooh, did I say that? Ow! Who threw that dinner roll?

Rob- Good comments, and I agree with more than you think. You do not hear me advocating any particular style of music. I own and enjoy and use all kinds of styles (minus rap and Rigney singing arias.) As I will outline in part II, style is not neutral, but it is highly flexible within the other variables present in worship. The argument in past years was considerably about style, and about holding on to the familiar and resisting the new. I believe some new music has much to commend it, and that much of the older music is horrendous, even damning, in content. What I am saying is that CCM in worship has made a “Sherman’s March to the Sea,” burning everything in its wake: hymnals, instruments, choirs, replacing them with only what serves the values of CCM. Values that are, I contend, commercial and entertainment values first, and Gospel values secondly if at all.

I am not the least bit bothered about using new music. I use “newer” music every Lord’s day. But I am tremendously concerned about the “system” of worship music that is now overwhelming all other considerations. As I say in the article, many baby boomer adults now choose churches based on bands and projection systems. That may not be a conspiracy, but it is a set of values attached to one culture overtaking the values of another culture.

“Many people prefer the familiar. But, that doesn’t make it any holier. Nor, does that alone make the new inferior or superior.” There is nothing automatically commendable about the familiar, unless it is familiar because it has proven to have values that are important and worthwhile. CCM is touting the automatic superiority of the new, because it is “anointed by God” to renew worship in the church. I agree that isn’t a conspiracy. I think it’s just a flat out lie, with a profit motive behind it. The final question for me will be, “Is there a Biblical basis for making value judgements about worship, including music?” And I think I can demonstrate that there is.

By the way, I wore out “Sing and Celebrate” when I was a teenager!

MBirch- I agree with you so much, I wonder how you can safely live in Clay County. We have to be careful how we hitch our wagons to the culture, particularly in the courtroom. I don’t want hostility to religion or endorsement. Just nurturing toleration of religion in general.

Rigney- So well said, I will steal it wholesale for the next article.

I don’t think the newness of the songs is the problem. Rather, it’s the content of much of the new music. I don’t care when it was composed, I care what it says. When I’m listening to music for personal enjoyment, I could care less what it says. I’m not going to the chapel to get married, I don’t believe in the magic in a young girl’s heart (how the music can free her whenever it starts), I don’t think she really came in through the bathroom window, and I don’t use cocaine (even when my day is done and I do want to ride on) . But worship is different. It’s much more important, and I am singing about something and Someone I believe in and live for—so what the lyrics say is SO important to me there. That’s my problem with much of the music in churches that I have experienced. It is by and large theologically bankrupt or just plain old wrong, and the emphasis is all out of whack.

“If people ar allowed to wear bracelets that say WHAT WOULD JESUS DO, they should be allowed to say WHAT WOULD SATAN DO.”- Tenth grader, Ashley Williams, of Kaimuki High School in Honolulu, on the school’s ban on clothing promoting Satanism.- NEWSWEEK 02-18-02.

Know what, folks? Ashley is absolutely right. We live in a country where, for the most part, laws are based on precedent. The dangerous thing about a court precedent is, once established, it becomes very difficult to change. Take ROE v. WADE, for example. This 5-4 Supreme Court decision has been around for thirty some years and will probably be around for many more. This is one reason I’m against posting the Ten Commandments in our schools. Once a federal court okays posting the commandment, the door will be kicked wide open for posting the commandments of every world religion, including Satanism. And as a friend of mine likes to say, “that’ll open up a whole nother Pandora’s Box of worms.”

Yes, one of the many many reasons to like Mr. Dylan. I had the privilege of seeing him in concert last year and wow, what a genius!
I tell you, sometimes I miss working in a Christian institution, but one thing about it that I do not miss is all the back-biting and sneakiness in the name of righteousness. Oh, there is certainly back-biting and sneakiness where I work (and every workplace in the world, I would guess), but at least here no one tries to mask it with good old Christian moral uprightness. It disgusts me to see Christians behave in such a way in the name of a moral crusade. There is absolutely no excuse for going behind a fellow Christian’s back and complaining (especially to the boss) about things he is doing that you think are not up to standard. What cowardice. Is that not immoral itself? These people have not won a battle of principle if they’ve done so anonymously. I think that is one area where certain bosses (none to be mentioned here, of course, wink wink nudge nudge) make an on-going mistake—allowing people to air their grievances with him before they have talked to the person in question. Man, what a bunch of garbage that starts.
Anyway, enough about that. Lesson for today, kids: before you screw someone over, at least tell them why you’re doing it first.

Good description of the corporate posers that pass for todays rebels. MTV (1 & 2) is one long commercial for this attitude. Another reason to like Bob Dylan IMO at least. Yes Eric, we have hit a bit of an institutional obsession with SEX this year, which is odd considering other events we’ve been through. I can only interpret the expulsion for off campus behavior as a warning to all the rest. But when Christians try to stop people from sinning, it is laughable. Human nature can be restrained, but it can only be changed by the Holy Spirit. All these little fences will stop nothing and no one. And I am really cranked about the porch. You are so right. Apparently some of the deans carried on a voice mail campaign to close it and won. I was never consulted. (Surprise.) I am whining. I will stop and eat my Gruel. (Whatever that is.)

I have the seeds for my next political article. Mr. Gore has returned to publife life, and while doing the required Demoncratic approval of the President’s actions since 9-11, he also gave us his view of why these things happen: :”What we deal with now is today’s manifestation of an anger welling up from deep layers of grievance shared by many millions of people.” He goes on to explain that people are mad and bad because they are poor, ignorant, etc. This, my friends, is liberalism at its finest. Povery caused 9-11. Terrorists are another grievance committee, like Jesse jackson, Hollywood gays and politicians with bad lawyers. Interesting that none of the terrorists seem to be making that point. But, we now know that if Mr. Gore had been Prez, we would have gone about the good business of addressing the “fundamental causes” of all this, along with our cheerful allies. Somehow, Mr. Gore, I believe you have missed the point.

A moment of silence for Waylon Jennings…. A true music rebel, which is pretty rare in the music bizz. The closest you usually come is Rage Against the Machine (brought to you by Nike!) and Green Day (Hey, we’re 38 and sing lyrics like “I don’t need your authority” and “down with the moral majority”! Not pathetic at all! Did I mention we’re on Letterman and Leno and SNL next week? We’ll smash a guitar or two and maybe spit at the camera, but oh, think of the marketing!) Oh, excuse me. Where was I? Oh yeah, Waylon Jennings. True rebel. He refused to attend his induction into the Hall of Fame and any awards shows. Sounds like he was actually in it for the music—what was he thinking? In his honor, everyone remember your favorite freeze-frame of the Duke Boys over a gulch.
My article deals primarily with superstition disguised as religion.
Expelled for off-campus romps? Wow, who would be left? They’d have to have Quackenbush and Bill Atto come back as students just to make enrollment. And how loose of a ship can one run on the CMC porch?? It is so out of the way and everything, I guess. You know how those rocking chairs get people all hot and bothered.
No, Bart, I have never had the “honor” of visiting a cottage cheese concentration camp, er, factory. I hope that I will taste hot steaming death before sucha thing happens. But you did a wonderful job describing it. Where’s the bathroom?

I edited and reposted the CCM article.
Bart- Something weird is going on!!!

Any of you guys been in Nebraska lately? Lose anything important while you were there?

I’ll get the guitar. Rigney can come up with the hand motions.
For the record, I have no time for BOB Larson, who actually faked phone calls during a fund-raiser! And faked his own hair as well.
I put ashes on lots of people today. Touching all those greasy teenage foreheads. Ugghhh. I did it for God I did it for God I did it for God…..
Rigney- they expelled a couple for sex OFF campus during four day break. It’s a first. I told Saldaris that if that is the new rule, we better warm up the buses! Also Bud closed the CMC porch because I was running too loose a ship. Good think I am a Calvinist or all this stuff would bother me ;-)

Angus’s newest praise chorus
Rap master D-mike has become the BOB Larson of the new millennium.
Rap master D-mike has become the BOB Larson of the new millennium.
Rap master D-mike has become the BOB Larson of the new millennium.
Rap master D-mike has become the BOB Larson of the new millennium. ;-)

Does any one know why dead animals are used in moonshine? it can’t be for the taste.

Waylon Jennings….now I need a beer.

Rigney-have you ever been to a dairy where they make cottage cheese? Holy Nose Hair Batman! There are these huge chunks of curdled milk swirling around in these large steel vats. It’s as if you are watching the manufacture VOMIT. I swear, I have never seen anything quite that gross (well there was the MTV award show that Marilyn Manson wore his androgyny suite…but that’s another issue). Though, after a while I did have the urge to gab a spoon and a bottle of French dressing. I couldn’t help but think that the dairy would have been the perfect alternative to the baked bean seen in Tommy. But then, Ann Margaret would have made just about any food look good. They could have used that place in lieu of the refrigerator scene in 9.589764123589947556 weeks as well.

Well here is an American loss. Waylon Jennings. I wonder if the New York Times crowd will figure this one out. It is very much the “Bush states” kind of thing.

Well Blogger ate a huge post. Act of God. I’ll try to summarize.

1) Every CCM artist I have ever met was a great person, humble and serious about ministry. I have many friends in the industry. The artists I have brought in for concerts- Michael Card, Glad, Age of Faith- have all been flexible, modestly priced and super to work with.
2) I am very influenced by Steve Camp, Keith Green and Rich Mullins.
3) I am employed in a ministry that pays very modest salaries, and when I have tried to bring concerts to OBI or take kids to concerts off campus, the cost is prohibitive. (Ludicrous actually.) What are the values at work here?
4) Keith Green gave away music. John Piper gives away books. Lots of little guys do it for nothing or offerings or whatever you can pay. It can be done.
5) When I look at the Doves, I see commericalized, entertainment driven, values.
6) It appears to me that the CCM invasion of worship is spearheaded by four companies, and that while they all have commendable aspects, their goals are commercial, and their takeover of Sunday morning in so many churches is a commercial triumph of marketing. The values I see at work in the product and the approach are primarily commercial and pragmatic.
7) I know the industry and the little guy playing the church basement are worlds apart. And I am grateful.

Now, here is a story about two guys having sex in an airplane bathroom. I had to read this story to recover from the image of spaghetti in a colostomy bag. How ‘bout building some anticipation. What is the article dealing with?

Homer Simpson would eat the leftover Pam on the bottom of a skillet after you cooked O’possum and bio-hazardous waste stew in it, so I don’t think his opinion on liver and onions should count. And by the way, I am proud to say that I have never, I repeat, NEVER liked lliver and onions or cheese puffs. I would rather eat spaghetti out of a colostomy bag and slurp up curdled milk through a catheter tube. If that makes me highbrow, pin those suckers all the way up to my forehead! And yes, if a flag had a picture of liver and onions or cheese puffs on it, I would torch the thing!
And while I’m on a rant, everyone beware—I’m about 4/5ths of the way through with an article for IM. It should be finished and ready to send tomorrow. So you may want to go ahead and read Michael’s, so you can avoid the page when mine is posted.