Eric: The guys at Razormouth are taking on Dobson over his endorsement of lawsuits against Casinos. One essay really does a great job laying out the Biblical/Libertarian case against moral coercion. Not the kind of thing you hear very often, and frankly, I am glad someone in the Christian community has the spine to write this stuff.

Dudes: Thanks. The Missus is toooooo modest. Plans and carries out all the musical aspects of worship at church. Plays piano for me in OBI chapel in the summer and whenever I need her. Has written major plays and an entire MUSICAL on Esther. (Get us an agent!) Should have killed me and hasn’t. Did all the hard stuff bringing two great kids into the world, and did the majority of the work turning them into great human beings. Has followed me in my wanderings all over the Sinai, without complaint. Heard that legend that there are TEN righteous people who keep the world from falling into hell? She’s one of ‘em, I guarantee. (I love you!)

RonH: Thanx. C’mon c’man c’mon!!!

11. Sallie asks the girls Bible study if they know any verses she can use to convince her parents to give her money for breast enlargement.
12. After studying “Experiencing God,” several group members believe God is leading them to become successful Christian musicians.
13. Ralph is in the bathroom by himself for 45 mintues every morning. He tells the group he’s having a quiet time.
14. A subscription to MAXIM arrives. No one claims it.
15. ROAD TRIP!!! To The Sunday School Board.
16. Todd gets caught shoplifting Christian CDs from Lifeway and has to leave the house.
17. Sam says thongs are of the devil.

I’m 45 years old. I’ve been a Kentucky gal all my life (except for 10 months in third grade when we moved briefly to Indiana, but that doesn’t count!) My only real claim to fame is being the wife of the Internet Monk. I’m a nurse by education, but am currently working in publications. (Go figure!) I like the job because it gives me a chance to pretend to be a writer. The only things I seem to be able to write are dramatic adaptations of biblical stories. I often write my own skits for our Creative Ministries team at school. Scott, my dog is diabetic. Judson, I play piano, and I also mess around a bit with lap dulcimer, hammerette, tin whistle, and fiddle…but I’m about to give up hope on the fiddle. (Who thought up the idea of a fretless stringed instrument, anyway?) One of my favorite pastimes is reading, but I never seem to have enough time for it. I enjoy everything from Charles Dickens to Sue Grafton. Oh, and I love lurking on the I.M. site! Eric, get Deanna on here so I won’t be the only female!

37
Married; 10 years.
Huge fan. (September 22, Bart)
No degrees, but working on one. (I’m just a crazy college boy!)
Why do I come to the BHT? Because I take great pleasure in being the village idiot.
[I heard that, Jack]

Judd: You have such a cool name, I think I’ll use it as an alias. Is that all right? And you’re married to a rocket scientist? Riiiiiight… (MichaelS, this guy is a plant, right?)
Chip: It’d be interesting to hear about what period of history you most prefer to teach. And why? And what your philosophy of history is.
Eric R: I second your sentiments about God’s grace. What a Saviour! Wow, another teacher? Cool. One of my fantasy lives involves being a teacher someday. And I’ll read your article. Faulkner’s cool. He knows the South and writes of it with genuine passion. Too few folks have ever done that, and fewer still today are able to.

Stolen from Relevant, for a purpose: “Set your VCRs this fall for “The Real World: Baptist!” Southern Baptist-owned FamilyNet channel will be debuting the Christian reality series “TruthQuest: California,” which will follow the lives and experiences of twelve Southern Baptist teenagers traveling across California. “Basically, a person watching MTV is going to see how the world lives,” said Baptist Press assistant editor Todd Starnes. “We wanted to provide a show to show, ‘Hey, this is how Christians live’” ...

SO…what kind of things can we look forward to on a Southern Baptist “Real World?”

1. Todd leaves his glasses at the altar after a Sunday night service, and returns to find that Clara and Bill are STILL holding hands, crying and praying, almost an hour later. Hmmmm..
2. Alice and Sara disagree on who will post the missionary birthdays on the refrigerator. Now they aren’t speaking.
3. The topic of the Friday Night Bible study- “Is masturbation always wrong?” has the guys in a serious mood….
4. Allie has started watching a lot of the Oxygen Channel, and the group is concerned. It’s confrontation time.
5. Sam wants to start street preaching in the Wal Mart parking lot, but the rest of the group wants pizza.
6. A group vote on what church to attend ends in a tie. Half the group likes the cool Praise band at Cornerstone Baptist, but the other half really like the sound system and AV at First Baptist. Looks like time to draw lots. Time to call Nashville.
7. Sharon has been wearing a black bra, and Todd asks the other guys to pray with him about a lust problem.
8. There’s a BEER CAN in the trash!!! Whose is it!!!!
9. Ronnie says that the group is gotten too worldly, and he wants TBN on 24/7.
10. Sam confronts the group about totally overlooking the Annie Armstrong Easter offering. Tempers flare!!

Your turn…

I’m 25. I got married one year, two weeks and three days ago. I have a BA in English Lit from the University of Arkansas and am eagerly awaiting Rigney’s article on my favorite writer. I am “fixin” to start my 4th year of a 3 year MDiv program at Asbury Theological Seminary. I love liturgy but currently attend a church whose members consider “liturgy” a dirty word. I love all kinds of food especially Greek pizza while trying to understand difficult theological concepts with someone more than willing to tell me what he thinks ;) SEC football and basketball are the only sports I allow on my television. That’s all the interesting crap I could think of.

Michael: I am a minister.
Jake: Careful with that book, man. If you start pondering the Sovereignty of God too extensively, it’ll mess up most of your theology. Before you know it, you’ll start reading Augustine and quoting Luther. And you’ll probably even start thinking Calvin wasn’t such a freak after all. Definitely dangerous ground you’re treading there, bud.

Michael: You are even more ancient than I am. Thank God. And I’m going to the Globe – eventually. Saturday I’m going to Warwick Castle and Stratford-Upon-Avon. Will that satisfy you even a little?
Ron H: I’ve tried to smoke a brisket, but I can never keep it lit. And they don’t draw worth beans.

Jack: Maybe you better stay in England and become a minister. They need some help. According to this article, a third of the CoE doesn’t believe in the Rez, and half don’t believe in the virgin birth. Almost 85% believe that Bart could single handedly drag the Loch Ness Monster on shore and barbecue that sucker.

RonH: Send food.

Jack: I am almost 46 (9/16/56). Am I- or am I not- the elder in the BHT? I need to know.

Eric: An article for IM? Surely you jest? (IF it has to do with WF, you might suggest what pic you want me to hunt down to go with it.) BTW, did you know that Scott Self is teaching English II and HATES Shakespeare? What can I do with this guy? (I just finished rereading Julius Caesar with the audio tape. So many good lines. “You have misconstrued everything.” Now I am reading Henry V with the tape. Way cool. Jack: GO TO THE DXXX GLOBE!!!!)

MBirch: The photo has caused a major remembrance of my dad’s description of a peeing contest between two little kids.

Bart: I had no idea you were kidding. I mean, everything was pretty much the way I remember it.

Group: SERIOUSLY, I think it is amazing how many of you guys are in the tech industry.

Jake: We made you mad? Hmmmm. That’s never happened before. Really, the guy who first started talking with me about the sovereignty of God would meet me at the back of the church every Sunday and wait till everyone had left and then ask me all these detailed Bible questions, especially about the sovereignty of God in salvation, election, decisionalism, etc. I would go home on Sunday afternoons and read my Bible like I never did in seminary. I don’t think I ever really gained much from study when I wasn’t motivated by being irritated.

That can’t be Bart. He wore a micro-mini and a halter top and parrot earrings.

Bart? Is that you?

And Bart: I didn’t say anything about your bio b/c I was afraid you’d bring up the cross-dressing binging and carousing we did when I visited Nash Vegas!

I was born Leif Erickson Rigney in August of 1971. I am a living example of God’s grace being poured out on us silly sinful stupid humans when we SO don’t deserve it and when the odds are against us: both parents alcoholics (both sober now, thanks in part to the much-maligned AA); grandfathers horrible men (one a sexual predator, one an alcoholic who killed himself); grandmothers strange or dead; brother and sister with substance abuse problems (sister much better now, brother in prison completing third felony trip). In short, DYSfunctional all the way. Thanks to God, I am not dead or in jail, and I believe strongly and stubbornly in God’s grace and complete sovereignty. I have a beautiful wife of 8 years, and a 5-year-old daughter about to start Kindergarten (sniff). BA English, Georgetown College, MA English (American Lit/Rhet-Comp), Eastern Kentucky University. I teach English at Madisonville Community College, and I am currently writing an article for IM that probably no one will read because it mentions William Faulkner in the first sentence. God bless us everyone!

Actually, Bart, your bio was hilarious. But I was afraid if you heard me laugh, you’d try to buy me a drink.

Hey, Barkeep! Another pint of ESB over here for me. And a shot of Lagavulin for that goofy Scotsman wearing the skirt.

All right, i’ll get real a bit later.

Mawwiage. That dweam wiffin a dweam. That bwessed awangement…

I love that flick.

Good on ya’, Jake!

I’m older than most of you guys, and am pretty pissed about it, quite frankly.

I believe that they quit writing good rock-n-roll the year I graduated from High School, which was far longer ago than I care to admit.

I’ve been tormenting the same Godly woman, to whom I am bound in Holy Matrimony, for nearly 22 years. She is smarter, tougher, meaner, faster, stronger and waaaaaay better looking than any of us idiots on this board. Why she hangs with me is continuing mystery.

The children from this unlikely union are all smarter, better looking and more mature than their father. Chris-19 and Audrey-17 both attend Arizona Status University. Tyler is 15 and oozing testosterone. (Remember what that was like? Yowzer.) Ellyn is 12 and keeps the rest of us in line. I have convinced them all that I know more than they do, and they still believe me. I haven’t decided what I’ll do once they break the code.

I have a degree in Music Compost, sorry – Music Compostition from Baylor University. Like most music majors, I work in the technology industry. I’m currently serving as a project manager for a software company based in Arizona, where I own a house. However, I actually live in a house I am renting in Chiswick in West London. (Yes, it’s complicated.)

I attend an Anglican Church when in England and a Presbyterian Church when in Arizona. Before that I did the Southern Baptist bump, the charismatic can-can, the home-church hoochie-coo, the non-denominational Bible church boogie, and in spite of all that, I still dance like a white boy.

I was called a “Mean Ole’ Calvinist” by someone here at the Tavern, and I’ve decided I kinda like that label.

I try to make up for my lack of ethnicity by continuously skating the fine line between genius and insanity. Which side I am currently on is up to you to decide.

My heroes are Winston Churchill, John Knox and my wife.

Bart:

Sod Off.

Respectfully Submitted,

Seamus Patrick O’Heald

You guys are taking this way too seriously, not even one retort to my fabrication? PLEASE! Geez, Why don’t you just sit around and think about theology or something.

I’m a 35 year old repressed Scottsman. I like beer/ale and football. In the chinese zodiac, i’m a horse (STOP ALL FREUDIAN ANALYSIS IMMEADIATELY). I like sunshine and snow and warm bunnies. Occationally I like to dress like Rosie O’Donnell andd cruise the lesbian bars. I tell them that I’m a pre-op transsexual and that I need a date.

Matthew and I were talking yesterday about the sovereignty of God, which is obviously a key point for anyone in various stages of asking questions about Reformed Christianity. Many people that I know first thought through those issues with the help of A.W. Pink’s very provocative study “The Sovereignty of God.” Pink was a British writer and teacher who travelled widely – even to Kentucky!- and wrote many articles that have been collected into his many books. His book on Sovereignty is on the web, and I would recommend it. It will kick you in the head, and get you mad- and hopefully studying. Caution: He is a REAL Calvinist, not a girly one. (You can also download the whole book here.)

My bio is on IM.

I’d also like to tell you guys why I enjoy this blog. It’s difficult for me to get involved in the body of Christ as I would like, since I’m gone from home so much. The great conversation here helps fill that gap. I also believe it’s good policy to hang out with more experienced, better-read people than myself, as I am constantly forced to learn something, even when I don’t want to.

I go by “Judd”. Born in Aug ‘72 in Lubbock, Texas. Raised on a dryland cotton farm until dad left the business in ‘80. Raised Southern Baptist; confessed Christ as a child; wandered in the wilderness for 12 years (beginning my freshman year in college, fancy that). Struck by God’s grace again last year, near the birth of my first child, Angus (struck by grace near a child’s birth, fancy that). Married to Amy, wonderful rocket scientist for NASA at Houston’s Johnson Space Center. Work offshore on a SOTA (state of the art) drill ship; currently hold 2nd mate’s unlimited merchant mariner’s license; a LTJG in the USNR. B.S., Geography, Texas A&M University, 1994; B.S., Maritime Transportation, Texas A&M U at Galveston, 1998. Interests- tall ships, anthropology, Irish traditional music (I play squeezebox, whistle and flute; Amy plays fiddle). If I have any say, Angus will play the fiddle, as everyone knows it is the only real instrument.

Scott Ward’s Bio

I’m 29, for a few months more, anyway. Been married for a year and a half to the greatest woman in the world – Anne – who loves me more than I deserve (and ain’t that what marriage should be?) and live in Alamance County, NC. I graduated from Montreat-Anderson (now just Montreat) College with a degree that’s best described as youth ministry meets social work. I’m currently employed as a PC Tech and Webmaster, and spend my hobby time either reading, writing, playing music, discussing philosophy, learning about diabetes (I’m a card-carrying member of that club), or collecting classic video game systems (like the old Atari 2600). I play bass with a praise and worship group called the Five Minute Band (hence, my common screen name “5Minutes”), and currently attend a Southern Baptist church, although my own personal theology is becoming less SBC and more reformed.

My favorite quotes:

“It is one thing to see the mountains in the distance, and it is another to walk the road that leads to them.” – St. Augustine
“While we were pleasure hunting, we got tricked like Elmer Fudd – brainwashed by the media.” – The Galactic Cowboys
“If there’s bait, there’s probably a hook.” – Me

It’s been a while since we each posted a brief, one paragraph bio for the benefit of the other bloggers and our readers. Let’s make that a project the next day or so.

Oh Great BlogMeister: These seems to be some interesting dudes what hangs out here. It’d be kinda cool if there was a way for each dude-writer to have a brief biography so as that we could know a tad more about each dude what contributes here. What what?

Jake: I had the honor of seeing Jacob’s Trouble front row on their last tour (that I know of). Excellent band – great, creative stuff.

And yes, indeed, SFC did indeed rock. In fact, I’ve got Phase III in my car, for the days when I’m feeling urban.

Rich Mullins was awesome – simple music with simple praise.

Ever feel like this?

Just finished listening to the Springsteen LP again. If you haven’t read a good review, there is one at NRO. Springsteen is at his best when connecting with real world events, and this CD is connected to 9/11. Songs about people who lost loved ones, firemen, the loss of life, the rebuilding of the city, personal relationships, etc. I’ve asked this question before, and got a list of exceptions to my comment, but I am going back. Why doesn’t CCM come up with this kind of music? Connected to real experiences? This CD is very Gospel in its feel. Lots of prayer oriented choruses. It is really an artist feeling the grief and the hope and contributing to the healing of people through music. I’m trying to figure out what would have happened if a CCM artist had recorded this same record. In all honesty, I think it would have been judged not “spiritual” enough. It seems that as Christians, we already know what feelings and answers we want to hear, and if an artist strays from that, he is outside the bounds. Remember the late great MARK HEARD? He could have recorded this record. Terry taylor too I suspect. But CCM marginalized those type of artists in favor of Plus One.

Can I get those lyrics on a Powerpoint or an overhead cel? i don’t think anyone has ever praised God exactly like that before.

MS: I would return the bible, but since i don’t use it any more; I don’t know where it is.

Now, here is some real CCM. yeah_buddy.mp3

1) I will not ask how you came across that page ;-)
2) MatthewJ read carefully. There is a mention of Arkansas in there.
3) A family member was an anesthesiologist in a metro ER for years. He has a drawer of things removed from the uh…..uh…”cavity.” Coke bottle. Large eggplant. Screwdrivers.

Ouch!

New Agers may worship aliens… but true Buddhists worship the spaceship that got the aliens here in the first place.

Have you ever wondered “Gee, what would happen if I mixed 7 24-hr day creationism with lunatic sightings of Nessie, sea serpents, and bigfoot”? Now the truth can be known!

That new Marge Simpson hairdo just isn’t you.

And finally – it’s good to see that women are catching up to men in the workplace. Only about 50 years to go…

Scott: Memory Lane. One Bad Pig. Bart briefly was a roadie for those guys I think. I too started with Southern Gospel pre CCM. Oak Ridge Boys. Early Imperials. I heard the original Petra and Larry Norman in 1974 and that hooked me. I actually sponsored a Glad concert back in 81. I still like those guys. (Calvinists ;-) McFarland and I saw the first Mylon/Broken Heart concert EVER. Blown away totally by a version of the Doxology if I remember.

Yesterday I aquired the new Springsteen/E Street and I like it very much. Also a new release of the 67 Lincoln Center Simon and Garfunkel concert. Two beautiful voices and a guitar. Wonderful stuff. When I am by myself, I listen to Tony Rice sings Gordon Lightfoot, and Gordon Lightfoot sings Gordon Lightfoot.

Chip: My forays into CCM sound vaguely like a drug user’s biography.

I started young, with Dottie Rambo and Evie. By the time I was 10, I had discovered Amy Grant. That was when the doors were opened to harder stuff, like Petra, Mylon LeFevre, and Glad (shudder). By the time I turned 15, I had a good collection of metal built up, with such luminaries as Bloodgood, Whitecross, Barren Cross, Neon Cross (lots of crosses, eh?), and Messiah Prophet. When I went to college, my collection, which included stuff like One Bad Pig (Pig! Pig! Pig! Pig! Pig! Pig!), Deliverance, and Vengeance (aka Vengeance Rising), went with me.

My music tastes changed a little in college, and I began to adopt non-rock and secular music into my collection (some good, some not so good). Today, I primarily listen to King’s X, Galactic Cowboys, Third Day, Atomic Opera (great group if you like hard rock), Jars of Clay, John Coltrane, Ella Fitzgerald, most of Cole Porter’s stuff, David Wilcox, and Jan Krist.

Everyone: This has been a test. No cheating!

Also, I may have been wrong about those hybrid electric cars.

JackH: On writing. I am a poor one to ask. When I think that I am almost 46 and haven’t written a book yet it kills me. I have 200 pages of a bad novel laying around, and that is supposed to be the prerequisite to any decent writing. I have tried writing my sermons into chapters, I’ve tried fiction, non-fiction. I’ve started a book on Mark, on Psalm 46, on high school apologetics- nothing. And the big problem is that I am so self critical. I will write fifty pages and like what I write. I read it three days later and I HATE it. I have read a hundred times that the key is simply to just WRITE and finish it, but I hate what I write so much I can’t finish it, or even read it again. IM is the only exception. I like the topical format and the conversational, first person style. I am sneaking up on 100 pieces for IM, which is probably around 350 pages in less than two years. My advice is WRITE IT. Just finish it. Push yourself to not bail out.

Best advice I ever heard was from Michael Behn of The Call. Find your own voice. That is a challenge for me. I have trouble hearing myself in all that I read. But when I do, I can write.

Michael Omartian’s early LPs were wonderful. White Horse is one of the great works of early CCM. In the early days, CCM had “its own voice.” The early Larry Norman and Michael O are two I always think of. Early Terry Taylor, John Michael/Terry Talbott, Rez, Randy Matthews and Randy Stonehill. Brilliant stuff, concieved of and written by and recorded by the artists or a very small community of visionaries. The corporate nature of CCM today is the death of it. Yes, there are many talented people. But the industry is not pushing the artists that really “have the voice.” Or shall I say radio and the sheepish CCM public won’t pay any attention. I am more and more supportive of Christian artists who refuse to be part of the CCM industry. I just thank God for people like Keaggy who show you can be a Christian artist even in the swamp that has become CCM.

To whoever asked the question: The guy in scripture I most closely relate to is Jacob, with David running a very close second. And if my life of faith ever measured up to either of those guys, I’d be satisfied.

Degarmo & Key… Man, does that bring back the memories. I always thought of them as the Bachman Turner Overdrive of Christian music. I was wondering what happened to those guys, (Eddie & Dana I mean.) I quit listening to CCM the year Keith Green died. No, I take that back – somebody introduced me to Rich Mullins about 8 years ago – and I really dug his stuff. I wish he’d have worn his seatbelt.

Otherwise, I wouldn’t give a plugged nickel for the vast bulk of it.

On the other hand, Sting’s stuff is almost always terrific. Harry Connick Jr. is so talented and charismatic I want to strangle him – but wow, what a musician. Garth Brooks made country cool, (thank you Garth), and no one has ever written better worship music than JSBach. Michael Omartian’s White Horse and Adam Again were just plain good music.

And now I’m gonna do you all a big favour: Check out Gypsy Soul and Jack Williams. If you find them in your area, run – do not walk – to their concerts. I promise promise promise you will thank me. Those of you east of the Mississippi are more likely to hear Jack, those of you west are more likely to hear Gypsy Soul. Tell them I said hi.

Did I mention that I saw the Magna Carta on Saturday? Salisbury Cathedral owns one of only four remaining copies of it displayed in a very secure cabinet inside the Chapter House at the Cathedral. The Chapter House is a magnificent octagonal Gothic structure where the clergy associated with the Cathedral met every day for scripture reading. (They would read a chapter at a time, thus the name.) Stones benches line the perimeter of the room, and the priests and assorted religious-types would sit on these benches with their backs against the cool stone walls whilst the reader of the day did his bit. I sat down in the place next to where the bishop would have sat, pressed my back against the stone, gazed up at the vaulted Gothic ceiling, closed my eyes and imagined myself sitting there with that cloud of witnesses. What a rich history!

Michael S: I have a quote posted over my desk in Scottsdale: Writing is God’s way of showing you how sloppy your thinking is…

And never have I found that to be truer than the last 10 days. On my drive to Stonehenge Saturday I talked myself through my foundational ideas regarding God’s Law, the arguments against my assertions and my responses to those arguments, and then wrapped it up with a nice conclusion. But when it comes time to put it all down in written form, I run into a brick wall. I have literally started and stopped five times. I have five different opening paragraphs, five sets of approaches to the question and five idiotic essays trailing off into nothingness.

I love the way you write. Do you have any suggestions to help me get over this hump?

I thought “Danger Zone” was that Kenny Loggins number that was the big song from Top Gun.

K-R-Y-S-T-A-L

Hey Eric, I’d sure like to see a new article from you, say, by Sunday? Just trying to help out that deadline thingy ;) Michael, that piece of pizza stayed in my truck all day. After spending all evening helping my friends unpack I got in my truck and noticed the stench of a pizza that sat in a warm truck all day. Eeewwww. Oh, Heather’s not from Arkansas. If those of you who need a woman are looking, go to Spain. Those mediterranean women (my wife is actually descendant of Scots) that she grew up around are nice.

This needs some kind of Darwin Award: “A Massachusetts teacher who asked her pupils to bring a book to class about their Christmas traditions violated a student’s rights when she stopped her from reading a passage on the birth of Jesus Christ because it was religious, according to a federal lawsuit filed Monday. The lawsuit accuses the Leominster Public School District and some of its officials of violating 7-year-old Laura Greska’s right to free speech and her exercise of religion.”

Someone take this teacher’s brain and preserve it for science.

And here from CNN by the way, is what we used to call “eschatological verification” of a philosophical argument: “An argument over who was going to heaven and who was going to hell ended with one Texas man shooting another to death with a shotgun, police said Monday. Johnny Joslin, 20, was allegedly shot by Clayton Frank Stoker, 21, on Sunday. The two had spent Saturday night bar hopping..”

Ronald: D&K. What memories. I remember being at Ichthus and D&K were headlining- which I as an OLD GUY thought was pretty cool- and there was this new group called D.C. Talk, who were totally new. The adults hated them, but the kids loved it. I remember walking back to the campground thinking this rap thing was a trend that wouldn’t last. Now D& K are in a nursing home and DCT have already climbed the mountain and retired. I loved D&K from their first album. McFarland and I spent many hours digging those boys. (McFarland is actually the evil twin of Eddie Degarmo.) I loved the tape where they bundled two for one and asked you to give one away. I must have given away 20 of those.

Bart: Please return my Bible you villian.

Chip: I don’t know what Creed really wants to be called, but they aren’t a “Jesus” band, that’s for sure. Scott seems to be comfortable saying he is a Christian, but they REALLY play it all down and just let the songs talk. But artists have been singing to and about God for centuries. I don’t know why Scott Stapp seems so special. I think the media decided to make it a big deal. I am all for ignoring it so it doesn’t kill them. I can only imagine the awful mail they must get from Christians who have nothing good to say about anyone who isn’t A Gospel quartet.

Bart: Your taste in CCM is extraordinary. And the discovery that Ginny Owens is an alien should be the cover story for the next CCM Mag. Now excuse me- my wife is screaming in devotion to some Christian Boy Band. I have to throw her in the shower…....OK, I’m back. That was easy.

Favorite Bible character: I’m too ADD to make this choice, but give me Jacob at this point. He was an idiot, God kept his promises anyway, and he changed. Stop the story there, cause I don’t want my kids that screwed up. I also kind of like Ehud. Anyone want Onan?

ON JAKE’S OBSERVATION: In his book Before the Face of God, Michael Horton makes the excellent point (over several chapters) that CCM is obsessed with asking for an UNMEDIATED experience of God. (Seeing God’s face like Moses.) Luther called this a “theology of glory” as opposed to a “theology of the Cross.” The fact is, the GOSPEL is about a mediated relationship with God, and JESUS IS OUR EVERYTHING. Not just what he did, but who HE is. The Gospel is not magnified in a lot of this worship music, esp the early Vineyard stuff. That is changing, because I think the criticism hit home. There are whole CDs about the cross now, because in the early years, Vineyard had almost no songs about the Cross or any of the doctrines of Grace. I still find CCM to be ridiculously overloaded with songs about what “I” will do, what I feel etc. I I I I I I I I I I IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII….......................... Too much.

MatthewJ and I had a great time eating an entire Egyptian pizza and talking diet books. Then we both went to the top of the Asbury Library and shredded Left Behind Books till the police took us away. By the way, Matthew is…..is…well he’s from Arkansas and his wife is a BABE. I think we know what that means for you single guys- GET TO ARKANSAS. (BTW, I saw Jimmy Swaggart tapes in Matthew’s truck.)

Well, even Moses couldn’t do that. It’d burn your eyes out. Good God! Who are these people, Heavens’ Gate?

If you don’t have that…well then you are just going straight to hell.

I bet they all go here.
“People don’t need the latest dose of religion, tradition, and lethargy. They need answers to hard questions. The Bible is relevant to offer solutions.”

Don’t forget Ginny Owens and her glassy eyed stare.

The new face of real praise and worship.

I don’t read the bible (not even the leather student bible that I stole from MS), I just listen to CCM.

Thanks for the reminder of what a great book Jonah is, Judson. The person in the Bible I most identify with is Peter – brash and passionate and likely to get himself into trouble, yet loyal and, well, passionate. Although I have calmed down a bit as I’ve matured (stop laughing). The person in the Bible I wish I identified with (besides Jesus, of course) is Paul. Hey, I think we’ve found an interesting topic that has very little chance of starting an argument (famous last words)! How about the rest of you? Who in the Bible do you most identify with and/or wish you identified with?

Way off topic, but just had to share this…
I just encountered Jonah again, during my tour through the OT. Oh my. I believe that teeny book might be the best thing in the entire bible. The truths there are so perfectly expressed, and spectacularly hilarious. I think Jonah is the bible character who I most identify with—a complete ass, yet repeatedly bashed in the face with God’s graciousness.
And nowhere else in the bible, I think, do we see exactly to what minute detail God works… “and the Lord provided a worm, so that the vine withered”. Dear Lord, please let me be that worm.
And now, back to your regularly scheduled program.

Boom Shanka!
Angus is in a rare mood.

Cool quote from TV last night: “The Internet Monk is the fat man’s best friend.” Okay, so I left out a comma, but it was still pretty cool. On the funny new USA show, Monk, starring the funny Tony Shalhoub, Detective Monk was investigating an 800-something pound man (who hadn’t left his room for 11 years) for murder. The man, affectionately known as Dale the Whale, found some info on the web, and said, “The Internet, Monk, is the fat man’s best friend.” You couldn’t hear the comma in his speech patterns, of course, so it sounded just like the way I quoted it the first time, which I like much better. A plug on national TV! Go Internet Monk!

The Eastern part of NC (draw a line north-south at Chapel Hill and go East, young man) is pretty much a liberal bastion. Central part’s pretty conservative-to-libertarian. The mountains are generally registered Democrat, but that doesn’t tell you anything. When I lived there from 90-95, the Democrats gerrymandered the 11th District to where 68% of all voters were Democrat. And the Republican running for Congress still won (and I think he’s still up there).

So Fayetteville is pretty much Liberaland (sounds like a bad theme park), even with Ft. Bragg nearby. I’m just shocked it took them this long to go ahead and acknowledge gay unions.

Mike B: Thanks for the long post. Really! You demonstrated the kind of tenacity I had hope to provoke. Apology whole-heartedly accepted.

I yanked the quote off of “ALO” because that was the first place I found it. It is a very well-known quote amongst Lincoln historians. I do not at all discount the other things he said against slavery and in support of the rule of law and the supremecy of the Constitution, but when push came to shove, his actions contradicted his words. In fact, this is what makes Lincoln so elusive – so much of what he did contradicted the words he spoke that it is hard to really know what he believed. My approach is this: when Lincoln’s words contradict the actions he took, then it is the words that I consider to be suspect. On the other hand, when his actions are consistent with his words, then I consider the words to be more reliable indicators of what he truly believed.

Amongst the actions he took are these:

• Suspended the writ of habeus corpus for anyone deemed to be “dangerous”
  
• Instructed the post office to cease delivery of any newspaper that opposed the war effort. (Since this was the primary means of circulation in those days, it effectively shut the papers down)
  
• Ordered that the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court be arrested – by the Army no less – for delivering a judgment in opposition of the war effort
  
• Waited until almost 3 years after the start of the war before issuing the Emancipation Proclamation – and then at that limited the proclamation to only those slaves held in the “rebellious states”

If you doubt that I am reporting the facts, just say so and I will quote my sources – chapter and verse. But in the meantime, just do a little mental experiment with me. Assume that I am reporting hypothetical actions by a hypothetical Chief Executive. In your judgment, would a President who did these things really be someone who valued the Constitution?

And finally, I apologise for not recognising the Simpsons reference. I don’t watch much television and tend to avoid anything that is popular. I only recently realised that the Simpsons is actually a show worth watching. I appreciate your humour – when I understand it. < g >

Michael: Some of your kinfolk, perhaps . . .

BANGKOK—Two Buddhist monks are suspected of ignoring their vows by drinking in a bar 62 miles north of Bangkok.

According to police, bar employees said the monks—disguised in wigs and hats—had been there several times, drinking and singing karaoke. Buddhist monks are supposed to shave their heads and live lives devoid of materialism, forswearing worldly pleasures such as alcohol, sex and apparently, karaoke.

Associated Press

So, that means tomorrow we’re having fish . . . and . . . Chip? :-)

Some pointy observations by R.C. Jr from the Christian Booksellers convention, where a “worship service” was sponsored by some record company. Egad.

Congratulations, Scott. Some N.C. newspaper is listing “homosexual unions” with the weddings.

One of the bigger Christian Internet sites is tanking.

If you doubt we are in a war on our own soil that could kill thousands more....

I’m on the road tomorrow so I won’t be in here till late. Talk amongst yourselves. Oh, Chip is to provide Crab cakes for everyone, out of his own pocket.

Chip and MatthewJ: An error on the scale of misspelling “Krystal” must be dealt with by military justice. I will reprimand this over to a higher court.

Hey, if you’re going to crack on fat Southerners (like myself), at least have the decency to spell KRYSTAL correctly. Sheesh! ;)

I try to never press the “smart ass button.” I do, however, keep the “Smart Ass 300 kiloton detonator” here in the desk drawer.

Here’s a review of one of the best books I read last year. Freddy Buechner’s “Speak What We Feel.” A book about the effect of personal pain on the writing of Gerard Manley Hopkins, Mark Twain, G.K. Chesterton, and Shakespeare. Fine, fine stuff.

MikeB: I have always found the Joshua Speed quotation very moving, probably because I grew up on the Ohio river.

Jack: You’re right. In the heat of the moment, I found it much easier to push the smart-ass button rather than try to articulate my position (never done that before, have I, Ron? BTW is knee jerky anything like beef jerky, cause we sure could use some snackage around here :-) Jack, I apologize. You are also right to point out that just because something is declared by a southern historian doesn’t automatically render it as unacceptable evidence; however, the same can be said for other sources. Just because something is found in a “USDA Certified 100% reliable government-school history textbooks” doesn’t necessarily make it “propaganda.”

There is one more point I would like to make. You have suggested on at least three occasions, including today, that, in prosecuting the Civil War, Lincoln cared little about the constitution and even less about slavery. Please allow me to quote you:

“As if that was not enough, Lincoln was a virulent racist – his own words and actions demonstrate that beyond question. He didn’t give a rats ass about the slaves. The proof texts of this are voluminous.” [7/24/2002 1:47:25 PM]

“Read Lincoln’s words and watch his actions and you will see that he considered the 10th amendment, (amongst others), meaningless.” [7/25/2002 7:27:26 PM]

In support of these assertions you site one paragraph from one letter found at Abraham Lincoln Online. Since you sited to ALO, I believe I can safely assume that you do not question the accuracy of this particular source. If you look at a number of Lincoln’s other writings and speeches as recorded there, I believe one would come to quite the opposite conclusion than Lincoln “didn’t give a rat’s ass about the slaves” and “considered the 10th amendment, (amongst others), meaningless.”

Lyceum Address, 1838: “Let every American, every lover of liberty, every well wisher to his posterity, swear by the blood of the Revolution, never to violate in the least particular, the laws of the country; and never to tolerate their violation by others. As the patriots of seventy-six did to the support of the Declaration of Independence, so to the support of the Constitution and Laws, let every American pledge his life, his property, and his sacred honor;-let every man remember that to violate the law, is to trample on the blood of his father, and to tear the character of his own, and his children’s liberty. Let reverence for the laws, be breathed by every American mother, to the lisping babe, that prattles on her lap-let it be taught in schools, in seminaries, and in colleges; let it be written in Primers, spelling books, and in Almanacs;—let it be preached from the pulpit, proclaimed in legislative halls, and enforced in courts of justice. And, in short, let it become the political religion of the nation; and let the old and the young, the rich and the poor, the grave and the gay, of all sexes and tongues, and colors and conditions, sacrifice unceasingly upon its altars.”

Letter to George Robertson, 1855: “On the question of liberty, as a principle, we are not what we have been. When we were the political slaves of King George, and wanted to be free, we called the maxim that “all men are created equal” a self evident truth; but now when we have grown fat, and have lost all dread of being slaves ourselves, we have become so greedy to be masters that we call the same maxim “a self evident lie”

Letter to Joshua Speed, 1855: “In 1841 you and I had together a tedious low-water trip, on a Steam Boat from Louisville to St. Louis. You may remember, as I well do, that from Louisville to the mouth of the Ohio, there were, on board, ten or a dozen slaves, shackled together with irons. That sight was a continued torment to me; and I see something like it every time I touch the Ohio, or any other slave-border. It is hardly fair for you to assume, that I have no interest in a thing which has, and continually exercises, the power of making me miserable. You ought rather to appreciate how much the great body of the Northern people do crucify their feelings, in order to maintain their loyalty to the Constitution and the Union.

Letter to Albert G. Hodges, 1864: “I am naturally anti-slavery. If slavery is not wrong, nothing is wrong. I can not remember when I did not so think, and feel.”

BTW: There was an episode of, I believe, the Simpsons in which the French were referred to as “cheese eating surrender monkeys.” I guess you could say that my referring to the south as “gravy eating surrender monkeys” was a pretty lame attempt at humor.

Sorry for the long post.

Chip: The Amish have barn raisings. Mennonites tear down barns. Just more evidence for my documentary “Mennonites Gone Bad.”

Group: Hey…if you get bored, here’s how one guy is keeping himself and others amused.

“Authorities say Steve-O, an actor from the MTV-sponsored show “Jackass,” broke the state’s obscenity law when he pulled down his pants in front of the crowd at the Monarch Drive bar. His genitals were exposed for about five minutes while he used a staple gun to tack his scrotum to his upper thigh. The stunt was one of several outrageous and sometimes-painful acts that Steve-O performed. Others included setting his hair and the stage on fire, slitting his tongue with broken glass and stapling women’s underwear to his bare chest.”

RonH: sniff. They didn’t even bother to show up within 700 miles of my hometown. That’s OK. Really. I’ll just sit at home. Watch TV. CSI has been pretty good recently.

Sniff.

Bart: I just read your “thoughtful and reasoned response” to our Canadian whiner, and I’ve decided that I wasted a lot of words in my response. Yours was better.

Jack: Same with Presbys in Korea and the world church in general. The church in the west needs to shut up and get its house in order. They need to send the missionaries HERE.

Jake: CC is an example of CCM at its best. Theologically driven music. Personal humility. Respect for the diversity of the church. And they haven’t fallen for the poop that says if you sold a few units GAWD has anointed everything you do and everyone needs to get with it. I like them. Also Steve Green, Michael Card, Phil Keaggy, Jars, Steve Camp.

For those of you waiting with bated-breath for the latest news on the Anglican Communion…

I spoke with my vicar yesterday and asked him to explain this whole Archbishop of Canterbury thing. He told me that the Archbishop is not the head of the Anglican Church but is rather considered simply first amongst equals. All the various bishops carry equal authority. He holds a bully pulpit, but he does not speak as the head of the church.

Incidentally, my vicar also told me that the Anglican church in Nigeria has more members than the Anglican church in England, Canada, the US, Australia and New Zealand combined – and the African churches are dramatically more conservtive, (dare we saw more orthodox), than their western brethren.

I attended Evensong Saturday night at Salisbury Cathedral. For those of you familiar with the liturgical tradition of worship, this probably gives you the hives. But for a free-wheeling, let-it-all-hang-out, do-whatever-comes-natural dude like me, liturgical worship has been a breath of fresh air. When we all recited The Apostle’s Creed together, I understood in a way I hadn’t ever understood before what it means to be part of the church universal.

Salisbury Cathedral has been called “the single most beautiful structure in England” and I am not one to argue with that assessment. Worshipping the Sovereign King of the Universe in such a magnificent and aged place, (775 years old) is an unspeakably magnificent experience.

And that thought leads me to Theonomy, but I’ve still got to write it down…

Stonehenge was taken off the tour last year because of foot-in-mouth disease.

I’m sorry, I meant Foot and Mouth.

The Blair government thought that it would be better to kill all the cows and destroy the livestock and tourist industries – just to be safe – than to risk the spread of infection to the cows that they killed anyway.

This is a perfect analogy of the arguments the global warming crowd makes. Stupidity gone to seed.

Lots of old business to attend – I spent the weekend computer-free and it was good for me. I’ll post some phots of my trip to Stonehenge, Old Sarum and Salisbury Cathedral later, but first I need to catch up.

Mike Birch: In regard to my conjecture that the attack on Ft. Sumter had been provoked, you called into question my sources. Sorry bud, I read a lot and I think a lot, and I could be completely off-base. If I’m wrong, I’ll raise my hand and admit it. So if you were just trying to say, “I think you make a good point, but I’d like some independent verification, please”, then I’ll get you the sources. But somehow I don’t think you were asking for that, were you?

And Mike, if a Southern historian recorded something about the war, does that automatically nullify it for you? Lincoln’s own words and actions are powerful evidence in favour of my assertion, wouldn’t you say? That doesn’t figure very strongly in the text of your government-approved history books, but it wasn’t written by a Southerner, so maybe it can stand as acceptable evidence, hmmm?

Our Canadian Commentator makes one very good point – US Government subsidies of American farming, steel and lumber give those industries a competitive advantage in the world market that cannot be matched by producers in any other country. The rest of his analysis is like an Ally McBeal episode – it looks stylish and has a great soundtrack, but when you dig just a little deeper, nothing is there.

I fully agree with him as he condemns the evils of socialism. Socialism is an economic theory founded on faulty assumptions about the nature of individuals. Democratic Socialism is a political philosophy founded on faulty assumptions about the nature of the state. The countries of western Europe, plus Canada, the US, Australia and New Zealand are all embracing Democratic Socialism to a greater or lesser extent. To the extent they embrace that idiotic ideal, to the same extent they impoverish their own people and enervate those who would be most likely to benefit the rest of the world. So if Mr Maple-Leaf Breath is bangning the drum against socialism, I’ll stand up with him. End the stinking subsidies!

But he really isn’t doing that, is he? He’s just got a riff he really likes to play: Americans are selfish because they don’t play fair. Oh puh-leeze. Americans are hated all over the world. Oh yeah, the rest of the world hates us like we all hated that guy at school who was smart, good-looking, the star quarterback and got all the hot chicks. And wouldn’t we have loved to hang with him…

Watch how the world justifies demanding charity from America when they need something that only the American economic system and the creativity and “can-do” attitudes of individual Americans makes possible. It reads like Atlas Shrugged.

A timely illustration: The British press is in awe and wonder at the rescue of those nine miners in PA. Europeans simply cannot imagine how such a thing was possible. Americans cannot imagine how it wouldn’t be. That’s why they hate us.

I am not defending my government – I consider it about 99% evil and therefore 99% unnecessary. So in a sense, all we are doing is arguing about who has the least-ugly girlfriend. And I’ll say this, our girlfriend is certainly ugly, but yours is a genuine double-bagger tire-biter.

Bart: O, P.O.D. is one of those “worldly” Christian groups wasting their time trying to influence the culture. What they need to do is a worship album and then bitch and moan when churches don’t use it. (Bitter…bitter…) Still got a Tourniquet T Shirt somewhere?

An article from UPI about waning Christianity in Europe and America.
The “What Would Jesus Eat? Diet. Greek Pizza?
The Onion Reports the Hershey Settlement.

ScottW: I appreciate your background fact there, and I listen to MWS and will continue to do so. But this is the kind of flip comment that he ought to know better than to make in print. I mean, hey. Let’s try this: “CCM sucks. I’ve heard some.” What really swats me is that here is a leading voice in the American evangelical scene saying about the most ridiculous generalization that you could say. It sounds like some college freshman lecturing his pastor. A lot of churches that are by passing the takeover of worship by CCM are seriously trying to be alive to the Bible and the Spirit and the Lordship of Christ, and don’t find a lot of CCM to be helpful. I’m going to put it down as a long day for MWS and this is a paper that just about ruined my life with a misquote several years ago, so who knows.