From Steve Gushee at the Palm Beach Post via CT: A Weeeeeeeee Bit overboard there fellow. I agree the Christian artistic community isn’t up to the job, but the rest of this is nonsense: There are fans, and then there are fans. Steve Gushee, religion writer for the Palm Beach Post and Cox News Service is apparently a superfan of Bruce Springsteen. “The Boss is an unlikely candidate for sainthood in most religious traditions,” Gushee writes. “Still, [his latest album] The Rising is a profound faith statement regarding Sept. 11 that no religious group has equaled.�Thank God, someone is doing the church’s job.” The church, according to Cox, “offered little to soothe the angst felt almost universally after the catastrophes at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and on that Pennsylvania farmland.” He faults Catholics for being too distracted by the pedophilia scandal and says “Prominent Protestant leaders” such as Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and Franklin Graham “have behaved disgracefully�[offering] recrimination and accusation in place of reconciliation and hope.�Springsteen, on the other hand, sings of prayer, resurrection and new life.” Finally someone dares to speak the truth!!! Knock Falwell, Robertson, Graham, and some Catholic bishops off the list, and absolutely no Christian leaders have said anything healing about 9/11. No one has provided any direction or hope from the ruins of the World Trade Center. Dude, give us a break.

And the Capitalistic takeover of Christianity gains speed, as Chevrolet sponsors MWS and Third Day tour.

Jack: Come home soon. (And get a layover within driving distance!) No, really. The Washington Times is reporting that the Brits rate the death of Diana a more significant event than WWII. Is that creepy? Or course, American blacks recently rated Bill Clinton a better President than…...oh…..I probably don’t want to go there. But, well, you know what I mean.

What a shame. Prison inmates here in the Bluegrass State can’t practice Satanism anymore.

Here’s a couple of discussion starters I’d like to hear you folks try out:

1) A couple comes to a pastor for marriage counseling. They tell him that they are not Christians. And they don’t plan to become Christians. But they do want marriage counseling. What should the pastor do and WHY? Then assume the marriage is saved, but the couple is just as opposed to Christ. How should the pastor view his ministry to them? (Or would it be IMPOSSIBLE for him to help them at all.)

2) What do you think of applause in worship? A solid argument can be made that applause- as practiced in many churches today- is about the most human-centered activity you could add into a service. Should pastors encourage this or ask congregations to learn how to do without it?

MatthewJ: Any good bands or creative ministries at AC or ATS that I might get down here some weekend?

Larry: John’s little bit about “hardcore Southern Baptists” was a mis-statement. He meant to say “hardcore Southern Gospel fans.” I don’t think Southern Baptist could be applied to our school since we are in no way affiliated with the SBC or receive funds from the SBC. We receive KBC funds, and the staff is from a variety of backgrounds, mostly Southern Baptist. BTW- when you hear people say Spencer IS a Presby, be sure and correct them that I am the interim pastor FOR a Presby Church. I’m an employee. I consider myself a thoroughly Reformed Spurgeonite.

Michael: I am a skeptic at heart, so I would not be too fearful of that. Skepticism does not cloud the truth, it just forces you to take a harder look at things. The truth ultimately shines through. The problem is so many use the word theory as truth. No matter how much information you use, if your evidence is not conclusive, you are not speaking the truth when you say something is proven.

Ron: I think the issue is not whether lying is sin, but what the definition of lying is. To me, ultimately, if Jesus is the Truth, then everything that is contra to his teachings and being must be a lie, and therefore sin. As you have pointed out, however, we have largely run the course of this debate.

When seeking for the truth, one must look at the current world situation and realize that certain things are destined to happen. In the world today, there are rich nations and poor nations. Much of the reasoning why certain nations are blessed economically, is directly related to their educational advances, creation of new technologies, et al. I also believe that the religion one chooses is important, which can be extrapolated by looking at the predominate religions of nations and the prosperity of those whom have chosen Judeo-Christian as their primary path … but that is a story for another thread.

I got on this topic after seeing the CNN coverage of the World Summit, which our president did not attend. The thrust, which has been expounded on again and again, is one of reducing the disparity between rich and poor nations by creating some form of poor nation welfare. It seems history should teach us that this does not work. Here is the general scenario. The U.S. sees a poor country, with large numbers of its population starving. We try to solve the problem, either through government or pop stars, to ease the suffering by sending large amounts of aid. Enter the despot war lord, who steals all of the aid. If it is money, he buys himself some neat stuff; if it is food, he steals it, sells it, and buys himself some neat stuff. Thus, the pockets of the war lords are filled, and the people still starve.

The latest push is form some form of world-wide tax to supplement the poor nations, which means that the rich nations primarily pay. Without some means of distributing the money and aid where it cannot get into the hands of the despot, we will not be successful, no matter how much we take from the wealthy people or nations. You would think that we would learn from our own failed welfare system. To suggest that the rich nations should fork out even larger amounts of money, without a system to guarantee its distribution, we are talking a system much worse than welfare.

Last night’s concert here at OBI renewed my convictions that contemporary Christian music and the modern evangelical mindset are a volatile mix. It should be said that the band I brought in is fronted by a Roman Catholic. You wouldn’t know that from any of the content of the songs, but the guy does absolutely no invitations. Doesn’t know what they are, which is very very OK with me. But that doesn’t deter the students who come from churches with extended “ministry times” at the altar or all that youth camp extreme invitationalism training. After the obligatory trip down front to sway and clap, things then turned into a circus, with huddles of students (mostly girls) crying, hugging, wandering from pack to pack. At one point, I was convinced the girls caught up in the frenzy had no idea what was going on musically. Matt could have been singing the phone book, farting into the mic or proclaiming God is dead and the altar call frenzy would have continued. (I still have enough Vineyard in me to let this go, because in the middle of it I could see some kids responding for the first time and I do believe God can sort it all out. ANd if I quelch it, I won’t last long around here.) The last song was a version of Amazing Grace, starting really slow and then going really very hard, fast rock style. On the slow parts, the altar shenanigans gang was praying, on the fast parts they were thrashing. (I sorta wished Matt could have gone back and forth a few times, just to see what they would do.) Call me cynical, but this is pure voluntary manipulation and adaptation. “What are we all doing know?” All very Corinthian. All we needed was compulsory tongue-speaking.

I hope you guys have picked up that what I wouldn’t allow in my church, I have to allow in a Southern Baptist School. I’m only slightly schizo. I feel like Jonathan Edwrds, preaching reformed theology while someone rolls by on the floor bellowing like a moose.

Well, now that you have figured out I am not going to be on the New Beverly Hillbillies, Rob Dehrer calls out the networks and b-slaps ‘em up sida da hed with this article on how the contemplated reality show is Hollywood’s attempt to get ratings at the expense of the last group of people in America it is OK to ridicule: poor, southern (appalachian), white, conservative, Bible believers. America’s new n******s. It is a brilliant piece and I hope it’s mailed to every producer contemplating this so they can see the blatant hypocrisy. Dehrer hits the ball out of the park with his analogy of what would happen if you used inner-city blacks as the basis for your reality show humor. Look guys, stick with burned out celebs.

Now that’s how one handles a bunch of stinking whiners!

Jim N: I’ve been watching your postings carefully and have come to the conclusion that you’re gonna fit in here. I’m buying the next round. What are you drinking?

“Elseblog”? Very cool word. Is that original with you? I’ve never seen it before.

I’m off to York today to see York Minster. It’s about 200 miles from my house, so I’ll actually do some serious driving today. I’ll post my thoughts upon my return.

Just in case anyone had lost count, I go home in 14 days.

Michael S: We have 4 children, ages 9, 7, 5, and 2. We homeschool them. They are learning Arabic as well as English (and, at the moment, Latin) but we’re not pushing it too hard. The older kids have enough words to carry on a conversation with my in-laws (they do better than me.)

My 9/11 experiences are documented elseblog, as well as what happened that night. I’m probably one of the few people I know who saw most of the events – from the 2nd plane impact to the collapses – directly (albeit from 14 miles away) rather than on TV.

What isn’t documented anywhere is this: reaction to 9/11 was the thing that pushed us to leave our church (where we had attended for 10 years, and I was a deacon) for another. There were lots of other reasons – some doctrinal, some practical – but for a long time I’ve felt unable to write it all out. I probably should blog it at some point.

Michael S: When I was a little boy in Indiana Oklahoma, if someone had told me that one day I’d be getting on the Artist Blog of the Millennium award, I wouldn’t have believed it.

I can’t believe it.

Don’t believe it.

ScottW: Check out the blog over at Relevant mag. A great piece on the VMA mess.

BTW, let me say what I don’t say enough: that I really appreciate everyone’s contribution here at BHT and I learn daily that we do have more readers all the time. I think our blog is unique, in that I have never come across one that has such an intelligent discussion, mixed with humor, interesting inter-personal relationships and some genuine Christian fellowship. All of you- even the ones who rarely post- make BHT what it is, and heck, have a free one on me. We weren’t on the VMAs, but we should be.

Michael S: The Sun?? You’re reading The Sun? The paper version of the Jerry Springer show?

I think you are taking this Beverly Hillbillies audition waaaaay too seriously.

Now here’s a shocker. The much-touted Sustainable Development Summit in South Africa is coming unraveled. (I suspect this event has not generated quite the avalanche of publicity back at home that it has here in Euro-land.)

Apparently this high-power gathering of socialist do-gooders from around the world has not turned out to be the giant love-in it was advertised to be. Fortunately, the rest of the world can still blame the US for scuppering the whole deal. That’s the role we now play in world politics – the big stupid kid who gets blamed for everything.

What a bunch of morons.

I’ve got an idea that will truly help the third world advance on the path to sustainable development – Nuke Johanessburg.

Now….the fans turn on the mascots. “I was about 10 years old and went to a carnival to see the Phillie Phanatic (the Philadelphia Phillies big, green, furry mascot). As he was leaving I ran towards him and I heard him say to the person walking with him, ‘I hate these f******** kids.’ Needless to say I was devastated. This experience certainly was a major contributing factor to my very cynical outlook on life. F***** these mascots.”

A 49-year-old woman stepped outside her home and noticed a nicely wrapped package—with a birthday card—sitting on the stoop. She started to pick it up, but became suspicious when she recognized the handwriting inside the card as that of her former boyfriend. Cops were called and they determined the package contained a bomb. “It would have killed her, had she continued and triggered that thing,” says an officer. (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

Jack: English journalism at its best: Man has sex with frozen chicken.

I honestly want to know if any on you know people you believe are capable of leaving their child in a car to die from the heat. Everytime I read this it just freaks me out that we have become a country of dangerously stupid people.

I think we should start a pool on how long it will take to fly the American flag over Baghdad. I am serious. What a joke.

Read this paragraph on another list. Found it rather provocative. Can’t agree with it entirely, but rather interesting in some ways.

“I read “The Church Impotent: The Feminization of Christianity,” by Leon Podles, a short time back. He makes a case that all three persons of the trinity are masculine entities exhibiting masculine traits (i.e, one who calls out, judge, defender, one who seeks out his beloved, provider, sacrificing self unto death, coach, etc.) The femininity of God is reflected precisely in that God’s nature is Trinitarian. There is union and relationship in the Trinity. (i.e. welcoming, nurturing, inclusive, devoted to relationship, giving, etc.)

Not exactly my style, but cute. (If theologically flawed. Still creative.)

Important Recall Notice (Read Carefully)

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in their production of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed, “Subsequential Internal Non-morality,” or more commonly known as SIN as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Lack of peace and joy
[c] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[d] Foul vocal emissions
[e] Selfish, violent behavior
[f] Amnesia of origin
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Rebellion.

The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with [a] Love [b] Joy© Peace [d] Kindness [e] Goodness [f] Faithfulness [g] Gentleness [h] Patience [I] Self-control.

Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made it available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from the resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Ghost. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence on the premises.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without corrections voids the Manufacturer’s warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Just fresh from a day featuring a troubling interaction with a sterotypical troubled loner with a notebook covered with stereotypical troubled loner Marilyn Manson graffiti about killing and shooting everyone. I was gracious because the boy is in his third school in three years and needs to get his feet on the ground, but I had to be pretty heavy that this sort of thing isn’t going to be overlooked. Ah the real world. So good to be back in the BHT.

MTV is a house of idiots. It is a post-modern asylum, and the strange thing is that the people who run it want exactly what you saw last night. All the chaos and hypocrisy and raw stupidity. That is the MTV they have designed and sold to us. Michael Jackson is their freak as much as ours. They have no award for him, they only want the bizarre reaction to the whole rouse. Brittney isn’t a singer, she’s a presenter. Eminem isn’t an artist, just an outraged pig. The audience isn’t Hollywood, it’s people defending Moby and the sanctity of women. There are no depths to this because it is all planned. I wrote about it long ago. Respectashockability.

RonH/Gregory: I am more concerned about becoming a skeptic than I am a heretic. I really view propositional truth outside of scripture with an increasing amount of disdain. I have to live in the real world, but the people who are making the real world happen do not impress me. I am in real danger of seeing all hard science as a form of delusion onthe way to idolatry. I have to accept certain propositions in my worldview in order to live, but when I hear terms like “history” and “science” used by Christians, I dig a foxhole and crawl in. I could not agree more that ultimately the only truth we are given is Christ, who by his very existence illumines our lives. John 1:1-5, 1 In the beginning was that Word, and that Word was with God, and that Word was God. 2 This same was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made by it, and without it was made nothing that was made. 4 In it was life, and that life was the light of men. 5 And that light shineth in the darkenesse, and the darkenesse comprehended it not. The closer I come to the end of life, the more I realize I know nothing apart from Jesus. I imagine that at the end of it all, I may be surrounded by every kind of scientific “Truth,” but what will matter? Christ and Christ alone.

JimN: A wonderful family experience for you. Do you have children? How do they relate to their Arab heritage? Has your wife experienced any ugly incidents since 9/11?

SHOCKING NEWS:Michael Jackson may not really be the artist of the millennium.

I sat through one full hour of the MTV VMA’s. I want my hour back. Seriously, it was the most self-righteous self-congradulatory collection of no-talent has-beens wanna-be musicians in one room since… well, since the last VMA’s.

Highlights in the hour I watched: James Brown (hah!), Mary J. Blige (marking the first time “Jesus” has been spoken from an MTV pulpit without it being considered “bleepable”), Britney Spears (she didn’t sing – what a highlight).

Lowlights: The other 54 minutes.

Thankfully, CSI came on at 9pm, so my evening wasn’t completely ruined.

RonH: Amen.

I did not vote for you as “Most Heretical”. Sorry.

Jim N: An Arab dispensationalist?! It may take me the rest of the weekend to wrap my brain around that one.
Michael S: According to my buddy who just got back from a job in Riyadh, the Saudis actually hate, (in ascending order from least-hated to most-hated), Saudi’s below their class, non-Saudi Arabs, non-Arabs, Americans, Jews.

Gregory: Thanks for the MTV news. Now that I know that Michael Jackson is “Artist of The Millenium,” I can safely avoid listening to pop music for the next 98 years.

MichaelS: I was baiting you a bit. My own views on interpretation get me into lots of trouble. For example, I’ve argued that 1 Cor 11 shoudn’t be viewed as setting the pattern for modern communion observance; Paul was writing to correct a specific problem in Corinth, and while the pattern he lays out is sound, the circumstances for requiring the pattern don’t exist today. (I’ve been run out of town more than once for saying that if you’re going to take Chapter 11 as “the way” to do communion, then you’d better read the whole chapter and pass out hats to the ladies. [aside to Greg: I noticed that only a few of the bachellorettes had head coverings.])

(Come on, guys, I was kidding. Please, put down the wood and matches. I’ll kiss the pope’s ring. Let’s not take all this “priesthood of the believer” stuff seriously. )

RonH: My wife is from Syria. She came over when she was 17, so her schooling was all over there. They study the normal school subjects: History, Science, Math, Home Economics, The Koran, Marksmanship, Gun Repair, Hatred for Jews, etc. As a Christian (Orthodox), she was “excused” from religious education and allowed to stand outside without a coat for an hour; after a few tries, she started attending class. She knows the Koran better than any moslem I’ve met. She makes the 2nd best humus in the world (her mom’s is better.) And yes, we eat middle eastern food most days. (If you meet her ever, don’t tell her that I looked at the bachelorette link.)

Her uncle is the pastor of the Arabic Baptist Church in Washington DC. Being related to an Arab dispensationalist makes for interesting family gatherings. He’s a good guy, though.

For those who are looking, MSN has released the 25 most elegible Hollywood bachelorettes. While many of them sport pagan tatoos, only three of them have been married before, and only one (that I know of) to a Scientologists.

Eminem get booed at the MTV awards. Now, what disturbs me here is the media seems to think he had it coming. It seems, in our society, that rude behavior is perfectly acceptable when someone does not fit the highly liberal hollywood mode, but rude behavior if the person does. It was an award show, guys. If Mr. Moby hates Eminem, that’s his bag, but at least have the freaking decency to let him complete his acceptance speech.

RonH: Are you saying that my viewpoint of lying being a sin is invalid, or just that you disagree with the general thrust of my argument? Just curious. While never condemned as strongly as items found in the Ten Commandments, the idea of Jesus being the Truth is a central core part. If a lie is the opposite of truth, it follows that lying is contra-God, much as light is the opposite of darkness (an oft used metaphor in the New Testament). In the examples chosen, there is no evidence that God’s blessing was given because someone lied; in fact, in the case of the midwives, it is explicitly stated that they were blessed because they feared God. The bible is quite open about the flaws of its heros of faith, yet God blesses each one, despite their fault. The core issue is faith, not whether or not someone stumbles.

When we move into the arena where lying can be justified, we have a very slippery slope in which human judgement becomes our guide rather than scripture. While the 1 Kings passage shows that God used a lying spirit, God works in ways I cannot even fathom. Why, for example, would he harden Pharoah’s heart, when he had the power to have Pharoah let the people go without any form of plague?

Now, just because I like a firestorm, I will make a suggestion why God often uses things like a lying spirit and hardening a despots heart. It is because God knows we have the free will to decide. The Jewish people needed the additional hardship to strengthen their faith. ducking as Michael fires one back

A summary of Master’s presentation can also be found here, with some audio I think. Here is the closing quote.

“From the Psalter all the way down to the Reformation, and through subsequent centuries, hymns have been clearly understood by the Lord’s people. They have lifted up the people of God spiritually and intellectually. They have expressed worship, and taught the great truths of the Word. The Bible first, and godly hymns second, have liberated generations from ignorance and naivety, teaching and articulating intelligent praise. Today, the new worship is pulling believers down to a level they have never known before.”

Here’s more: The audio of Dr. Masters, and several articles on specific questions about worship, instruments, etc. I feel the narrow minded Calvinist in me getting happy! And all on the day I am bringing in a band to do a concert tonight!

Morning all. There are no dogs in sight this morning and I heard several gunshots across the creek last night. Maybe the dirty deed has been done with a phone call. Hmmmm….

Jim: Just like anything else in Protestant Biblical interpretation, the boundaries of interpretation will vary greatly. I think the genre of history is normally used in what is presented to us as history. I would see the use of allegory in Kings-Chronicles as unsupported. On the other hand, if someone were to make the case that Jonah was a short story- and not historical- while I wouldn’t personally agree, I wouldn’t say they were heretical, based on the fact that I think the case could be made either way. (BTW, Jesus’ use of common conventions in refering to the Old Testament authors doesn’t convince me there might not be more going on in some passages.) But in my opinion, the case that Jonah is short story based on a historical event is stronger. My point is that God may have chosen to inspire either genre for his purposes. So I have moved the focus of the BIBLICAL revelation to the Bible, and I am letting HISTORICAL revelation be another matter entirely. I may be wrong, but I do not believe the Bible gets its authority from its proximity to history (which is very real and accurate, but is also a modernist way of seeing reality.) I think it gets its authority from God.

Jack: Hanson is brilliant and has always done his homework. He has cogently made the point that the whole Arab world will do nothing but bark if we act like the superpower that we are and do the right thing. Jonah has said repeatedly that if every Arab country got together (impossible) to take us on we would whip them in two weeks. And lest we forget, a democratic regime in Iraq will change the whole middle east. Is anyone surprised the Saudis and the rest of the dictators are against it? HA! Last thing those despots want is democracy in the neighborhood. Only 2 Muslim countries have Democratically elected governments. Are we really supposed to take the press releases of the rest seriously?

Some of our best discussions have been on worship (Hi Rob.) I found an article on the Metropolitan Tabernacle (Spurgeon’s Chruch) site that is just wonderful. I encourage everyone to get it, print it, read it, keep it.The absolute best case against much of contemporary worship’s values and approach, and laying out the case for Biblical Reformed worship simply and clearly. The writer is Pastor Peter Masters. (Go over there and hear him Jack. I would love to know if the Tabernacle has crowds again. I hear they do. And if you do, there is a book I want and would gladly pay you to get for me!)

And now for something completely different…
I just read Why Arabs Lose Wars and must say thanks to whoever recommended it. As an expat in England, I am fascinated with the ways other cultures think. I am currently working on a White Paper for Americans doing business in England. You wouldn’t think two cultures so apparently similar would be so radically different, but in many ways, the English are nearly as “alien” to America as the Arabs. Here’s a killer article by Victor Davis Hanson on the European view of America. Hanson’s opinions almost exactly mirror my own. In fact, after I wrote most of my piece, I stumbled onto his and was shocked at how similar our findings have been. (Gee, maybe I’m right!)

Back to the Arabs. If the analysis by de Atkine is to be believed, then the US has Zero chance of inflaming the whole Arab world by attacking Iraq. I’m neither a military expert nor a skilled politician, but de Atkine’s analysis fits with what I have observed. I suspect a unilateral attack on Iraq by the US would lead the entire Arab world to rise up in violent verbal condemnation, followed immediately thereafter by… absolutely nothing. If these people cannot trust their own tank crews with a training manual, there is no way in hell they will ever unite against anyone, even “the Great Satan”. Their ingrained cultural biases against such action are simply too strong.

I’m shagged out from running all over creation today, but one thing from Ron’s Quote of Frye got me going:

When the apostle Thomas demanded visible and tangible evidence for the Resurrection, he was told that he would have understood the Resurrection more clearly if he hadn’t bothered with it.

Wait a minute. Jesus made the point that there were blessings on those who didn’t need visible confirmation, but He had just provided that confirmation to Thomas. If Thomas would have been better off without the proof, then why did Jesus give it to him? For that matter, why does Paul appeal to the eye-witness accounts of the resurrection? I mean, the resurrection is the point. Otherwise, we can all just be nice to each other, and skip all that stale crackers and grape juice. I think the real lesson of the Thomas incident is that Jesus met Thomas where Thomas needed to be met.

I agree that there are parts of the bible that are not of the literary type we call “history.” But there are other parts that are clearly presented as historical accounts. Luke 1 and 1 John 1 come to mind. I promise to take the poetry as poetry, but let’s take the history as history as well.

And if you’re going to throw out Jonah’s three-day excursion, how far do you go? 2 Kings treats Jonah as a historical person. Jesus treats the story of Jonah as literal – enough to cite it on several occasions.

Matthew: I, too, am glad for the impending strike. Maybe the networks will finally begin to cover cheese racing in the manner that it so richly deserves.

On the Beer topic, Saranac has released their Octoberfest. I’ll be busy for the next few days.

Being that this is Clay County, I can only assume that the 22 is to protect yourself from the Mrs. :-)

I am debating whether to shoot a dog in the neighborhood. A neighbor’s dog is in heat and this big stray chow has taken up with her. Tonight the chow attacked my Scottie while Noel was walking him. A few cuts, but my dog was OK. So I called the boss and said its gonna be your guy doing the shooting or me, but the dog is history. (We have a staff member who enjoys this type of thing.) Now Mrs. Spencer says no shooting in the neighborhood. Being as this is a Biblical marriage, I am loading the .22 as we speak. Update and film at 11. I give the dog 24 hours.

RonH: Well just be glad that we aren’t spiritual enough to feel the need to financially support you. First let me say that I am happy to be in the presence of another H-man. You are on track- if my evaluation matters. And your quote is excellent- really excellent. I inherited hours of Noah’s Ark videos long ago. The entire business seemed to be a frantic quest to find some distorted photo or bizarre tale to finally prove the Bible is TRUE. Friends, I am not looking for proof. It is self authenticating because God inspired it. So I don’t care what you find on Arafat or Ararat or whatever it is. Same with the Ark of the Covenant and the rest. (There are some WEIRDOs out there on these topics.)

History is yet another over-confident modern discipline. An invented way of thinking and looking at information. To say that “history” must verify the Bible is a no go for me. Historians can say yeah/nay or whadaya say but the TRUTH of scripture is true. I don’t care about the modern egghead adjectives you put in front of the word: historical truth scientific truth medical truth evidential truth media truth truth on film psychological truth theological truth Donahue truth Harvard truth and on and on. Scripture is true. Self verifying. God said it true. I ABSOLUTELY believe it is chock full of non scientific and non historical and non literal material and to twist it to become that is wrong. W.A. Criswell wrote a book called “Why I Preach the Bible is Literally True.” The sad thing here is that what may need to be said about the rez or the miracles or Adam/Eve can’t be said about so much else. Why I believe and preach the Message of the Bible is True is a better book.

Well, it’s official. The BHT hat is nothing but bad luck if you want to catch any trout on the Cumberland River. I was there from 6am-4pm and didn’t catch a thing. I wore the hat the entire time.

I’m so glad baseball is about to strike so that we can get on with a real sport like football. I used to love baseball. I have a close relative who is in the Hall. Now, I hate it and especially Bud Selig who wants to contract the 1stplaceintheALCentralMinnesotaTwins instead of that joke he calls a team up in Milwaukee. Of course, he used to own the Brewers (I think his daughter does now) and one of his best pals is Carl Pohlad, owner of the Twins and man most likely to make a TON of cash if MLB folds the Twins. Bart, Bud Selig said (allegedly) that Scots are a bunch of gay pantywaists. His address is 245 Park Ave. 31st Floor, NY, NY. Go get him!

Scott: I really like cats, personally. They taste like chicken.

Jack: Or was that BerNICE or EuNICE, as both are in the bible. I was following the metaphor. While the word “nice” is never used directly, many of the definitions of nice are concepts in the proper biblical attitude taht a Christian should possess: kindness, polite, virtuous and pleasing come to mind off-hand.

RonH: I was joking. You knew that didn’t you?

The following rant brought to you courtesy of our man in Texas, who has prodded me with a stick. (Absolutely no hostility intended in this rant towards anyone on the blog.)

I have never really understood what is the problem with my view of scripture. I am just arrogant enough to say that anyone who refuses to consider the literary nature of scripture is purposely choosing to misread and misinterpret. That is not saying everyone has to agree with me on my conclusions. But for the life of me I cannot understand how any fair exegete says “Well, this is the Bible so all that matters is that God said it and it’s true.” That is extremely disrespectful to the text. God inspired it as it is, and what it is is always some kind of literature. Poetry. Narrative. Parable. Proverb. Drama. Journal. Liturgy. Song. History. Gospel. Letter. Apocalypse and so on. (Maybe it’s that word: ERIC!!!!!! help. Is that it?) Is someone going to say that this is irrelevent? It’s irrelevent that Psalm 23 uses poetic imagry? We can’t risk acknowledging that because good grief someone might think it’s not true? We can’t say Revelation is Apocalyptic because well it might not be true? We can’t say that the Prodigal Son is a story because it might not be true and WE ALL KNOW OF COURSE that God COULD NOT CHOOSE to inspire a story that didn’t really happen in order to convey his truth. OK- WHY NOT? Why not? Why can’t God inspire any kind of literature he wants? Why can’t the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ words be literary creations and not tape recordings and STILL be true? Why can’t parables be parables and poems, poems, and songs, songs?

This all reminds me of some view of inspiration that says if the Bible doesn’t contain all the information necessary to flying a 767, it’s not inspired. Or the creationists who are always looking for proof that the Bible really doesn’t have a primative cosmology, but actually teaches everything modern science has discovered long before science did. Hello? I don’t get it. If it’s prescientific or poetic or partial or illustrative or anything less than comprehensive and literal, OK. Can’t God work with this?

Where does it stop? It stops with the reasonable conclusion of what the text is as it was written and meant to be understood in its time and place. If someone tells me that Psalm 23 is a story of a man who turned into a sheep, I say he’s gone too far. And if someone tells me Genesis 1 is a science book, I am going to say that (in my lowly worthless opinion) they’ve gone beyond a reasonable literary evaluation. If I want to say that stars don’t really fall from the sky (hyperbole) and that I shouldn’t cut off my hand (hyperbole) and Herod doesn’t have four legs and a tail (metaphor) I am not demeaning scripture but trying to take it seriously.

Some reactions to me on this are typical of a kind of fundamentalistic Biblicism that says ANYTHING that tampers with the individual’s modernist scientific view of truth in favor of any other view of truth is heresy. A biology book is true. A love note is not. An engineering schematic is true. A child’s watercolor is not. OK. OK. Fine. But I’m not buying that one. I am going to do my best to make a reasonable judgement about literary type and work with that right alongside the meaning of words, etc. (Maybe that is it: all the focus on translating words we just never stopped to talk about the bigger picture.)

Someone throw me an IBC. ;-) This felt good.

Every so often, when you begin to lose your faith in the process, the system works and the right thing happens. This, in my opinion, is one of those instances. His speech in court is truly horrific.

The fact that Eminem is a crass, vile, selfish, whinner good with rhymes and beats does not make me evil. The fact that his music is on MTV and in the stores does not make me evil. If I listen to it, and I am not revolted, but attracted and enthused, the evil is clearly in me. If I act out those feelings, it is proof I am evil. These guys are simply Romans 1 with a sound system.

Judson: We’ve heard this one before. Got to be a heartbreak for the people working on these projects.

I do not consider Ron’s post to be anything but a literary construct. In fact, Ron’s existence is absolutely irrelevent to me, as he is merely a character in my blog. Tomorrow, I may conclude he is a symbol for the doctrine of supralapsarianism.

RonH: You are making my ears ring. I am grinding my teeth. Why is this happening? I’m turning into a….a….H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eric: You are supposed to have young college girls in the office. Not burly guys. Just thought I would let you know. And send the donuts here….With the Faulkner piece…..PSYCH!