DavidH: This must be for the 6 a.m. REALLY Non traditional service. ;-) I am surprised your pastor would want to run the risk. The SBC fundies wouldn’t care much for that resume. Not as bad as a Calvinist, but close.

Dave, you may want to address this to me off list, but why are YOU the bad guy here? How are you perceived in all this?

Also, I am blissfully ignorant of any any all things related to Tommy Tenney, other than his book title. Could someone give me a short course in what makes him different?

All—please pray for me and our church. Our worship guy has begun exhorting the congregation on the basis of Tommy Tenney’s books and is leading our largest choir that direction, too. He brought in a guitar player and has begun to promote him heavily. Since we have no confession or covenant or membership requirement (!), he’s stepped right in without question. Problem? He’s also a worship leader at a wacky charismatic church ( kicked out of the Calvary Chapel ( Chuck Smith) fellowship, promote themselves as exorcists and with a ministry to UFOlogists ( the Nephilim came from someplace else) PLUS he was heavily involved with Rodney Howard Browne as a ‘worship leader’. Oh boy! In the sovereign plan of God, I am the one who must confront this. ( Our sr. pastor won’t) I repeat..please pray.

On two different lists I am on, the question of attending Bob Jones University has come up. As the posts have responded, I may have missed some, but I have not read one that mentioned racism as a reason not to attend BJU. What is up with that? I am totally embarassed that our school uses some of their loathsome textbooks. Is forbiddening inter-racial dating cool with most conservatives? (The school has changed that policy haven’t they?)

Judson: Don’t ask us to cover up the Farah Fawcett poster in the men’s room, cause it ain’t gonna happen.

NOW it can be told. Months ago when the Kingdom Now crew was here, I was informed that we probably were dealing with a pro-homosexual outfit, and I attempted to get the discussion round to that, but failed. Now there is a major discussion of homosexuality going on between Walter Wink – a Kingdom Now favorite- and Robert Gagnon (unfortunate name) at Pittsburg seminary. Here is Gagnon’s article and the links to all the discussions and articles are at the top. You will see in this article the explicit linkage between accepting homosexuality, denying the authority of scripture, accepting universalism and denying Christianity as a unique worldview. These are always being promoted together and Christians who don’t know this will know it now. Invest the reading time. Remember- Wink is an evangelical favorite in many circles.

ugh… these people are from my neck of the woods.

Gregory B: (Channeling Homer Simpson) Mmmmm… Widescreen Presentation…

Michael Sp:

1) What are the most popular beers? Diet IBC
2) Do we have our own brew and what is it called? You don’t call it… it elects you
3) Waiters or waitresses? Names? I think there are, but I usually just jump over the bar and make like a buffet. I do the same thing at Burger King.
4) Biggest tipper? Biggest tip? Biggest tip? Flying boulders don’t stop on a dime.
5) Name of the BHT softball team? Softball. That’s, like, a sport right?
6) Who is the Bowling team and their averages? Well, I average about 210… oh, wait. That’s golf.
7) Most popular food dish? Yes. Just watch yer fingers at feeding time.
8) Peanuts? I’ll thank you not to ask personal questions.
9) Special nights? Special, as in the short bus?
10) Why are the bathrooms so small? To make sure us guys who tend to be… portly… can’t fit in to clean them. Works for me at home, too.
Bonus) What was it before we moved in and is there any evidence left? I don’t know, but they forgot their cat. Someone pass the A1.

For the geeks in the group. Take a look at this monitor (click for a larger view):

That’s a nice way to put it. I’ll use that next time someone calls me fat. I’m always trying to come up with new euphemisms.
BTW, the Faulkner article is dead. There was no way I could write what I wanted to say without saying things about someone I work with, and there are people around here who visit the IM and BHT, and I didn’t want to offend. There was simply no way to disguise the identity.
The good news is, I am working on TWO ideas, both of which have the potential to get me into trouble.

Eric, I really think that should be a “bobble-belly” doll after hearing that so many of us have the figure of an offensive lineman.

1) What are the most popular beers? Guinness, Pabst Blue Ribbon (I’ve never tasted it, but my dad used to get totally schnackered on it).
2) Do we have our own brew and what is it called? White Infidel.
3) Waiters or waitresses? Names? Helga and Ishmael.
4) Biggest tipper? Biggest tip? Do we really need to discuss this after the circumcision episodes?
5) Name of the BHT softball team? The Raging Pugilists.
6) Who is the Bowling team and their averages? Whoever said me is way off—I bowl about like I knit.
7) Most popular food dish? Thin crust pizza (man, am I hungry).
8) Peanuts? Most definitely. Love the suckers, and I’m told they’re “good fat.”
9) Special nights? We need a ladies’ night to lure more females in here. Also, we need a bobble head night, where we give out bobble heads bearing BHT members’ likenesses.
10) Why are the bathrooms so small? Less room for shenanigans.
Bonus) What was it before we moved in and is there any evidence left? It’s where TBN got its start. Benny Hinn’s Dapper Dan tin is still in the corner, next to Jan Crouch’s space pod.

Very nice house, Scott. Looks like a great place for the first annual BHT “We Don’t Fear the Devil. It’s The God of The Old Testament That Scares The Crap Out of Us – House Party Tour”.
Now, how about some directions.

Spencer: Brimstone sounds like Spawn.

Our new pastor has repeatedly made the call for creating a “New Testament” church, so I wonder if he has not read some of the materials Michael, et al, have been posting here. I was impressed this week that he made a commitment to preach the word of God, despite the fact that some may not want to hear it. He stated, correctly, that there are plenty of churches that will bend the message to what people want to hear rather than to what they need to hear, just to avoid offending people. Knowing some of the churches in our community, I can say a hearty “amen” to that one.

Man, I leave to get moved into the new house, and things get busy…

DavidH: O! This book by Carson, Keller, Hughes and Ashton is one you will want to secure immediately. Very good, and the chapters are actual nuts and bolts worship planning, orders of service, etc, from three different traditions. The kind of book on worship a lot of people are wanting these days.

BTW, I note that the early service is labelled the “Non-Traditional Service.” Makes me want to label my service the “Non-Contemporary Service.” ;-)

DaveH: Would love to get tapes or hear those messages on the web. If there are tapes, my mail addy is on the bio page on IM under the resume link.

The only “ism” I would add would be revivalism, which has washed out to be the historical front line of the demise of the church. When Finney put himself over the Church (Read it. It happened) and declared himself unaccountable, then proceded to be the source of a “spiritual awakening” via pragmatic and manipulative means, it opened the door for churches to be at the mercy of anyone and anything that could “make it happen.” As you know from growing up in the pit of revivalism, worship was overwhelmed by this, preaching was overwhelmed by this and church life (esp membership) was overwhelmed.

Case in point. I never sensed AUTHORITY in the church the way I sensed it when evangelists would come and let us have it with their double-barreled assualts on our complacency. It was this PERSONAL authority, not the church’s own confession or practice, but this personal charismatic self-annointed authority that had real power. Over and over again our church would seek that experience and over and over again people would respond to it. Magnify this even further- the James Robinson city wide crusades. Robison would come in with the authority of a pope, and would speak to the churches from on high. What happened to the identity and authority of the local church? It vanished when Finney told the Presbyterians to take a hike and he put himself over the churches with the stage of revivalism. And Robinson and others were riding that wave. And from that, the current swamp.

Move all that down down down the historical slide and you reach the evangelical mess of today. Personality driven. Product driven. Market driven. Led about by Christian media and publishing. No confessions, no covenants, no constitutions and no authority. Is anything lower in the eyes of most people than the ordinary (not exciting) pastor?

Michael S— That your insistence that the church be explicitly confessional, covenental and constitutional is now considered radical in most of evangelicalism is a sign of how far the church has slipped. It makes for a weak and insipid faith, a weak and insipid witness. Preached this am on taking every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ. We addressed the fortresses in the evangelical mind - relativism, universalism, materialism, rationalism, sensualism and pragmatism- that are weakening the church. Bottom line—” What goes into the mind and grabs onto the heart grows into a life”—and what we are growing is terrifying. Followed that up tonight with a ” A Plea for Christian Readers”. The gospel in our time is at stake.

JackH: I actually watch very little TV. Fox news in the background, CSI and the search for something else to tape and watch on Sunday evenings. A long standing marriage tradition, threatened by cancelation of the X-Files.

As to my proposed articles, I have no problem making the statement this way: I believe that for a church to be a New Testament Church, it must be explicitly confessional, explicitly covenantal and explicitly constitutional (i.e. guidelines for the discipline of the church in matters related to membership, government and leadership.) By my definition, many “churches” are in actuality not churches at all, and many are only marginally so or are not functioning as churches. The demise of the evangelical church is the abandonment of the true identity of the church. Share the good news with pastors everywhere.

Here is a link on further Cooked Goose Bishop Carlton Pearson. You can see in this article that he has many friends on his side of the charismatic fringe, and for the reasons listed above, I am not surprised. When a church says they are going to take a fresh “look” at Calvary, either something very good or very bad is afoot.

Mike B: If that’s the name of the band, then I have to be in it. That’s the best band name I’ve ever heard.
Michael S. – Re: Articles You’re Gonna Write: Okay, other than those minor, niggling complaints, how do you really feel?

Oh, and where in the bejeebers do you get the time to watch all that TV?

Show I really loved: “Brimstone.” Peter Horton as a cop who gets killed, goes to hell and then….theres a breakout. 100+ of the worse inmates are back on earth. Horton is sent back to earn his “salvation” by sending each one back to hell. Really cool show. John Glover as Satan was really great. He would always be playing a different character. In one he was a college English teacher spending a lot of time with Freshman girls. Very similar to someone in our little tavern…...hmmmmm

Victor Davis Hanson on the differences between Iraq ‘91 and Iraq ‘02-’03. This guy ought to be on tv every night for an hour.

From Relevant. I’ve been expecting this, and it raises a fascinating moral dilemma: “Still not sure how you feel about the idea of the U.S. attacking Iraq? Some ministers are warning against military action because it could have ‘disastrous results’ for Iraqi Christians. UK minister Graham Cooke told delegates at a conference that while Saddam Hussein had no faith and was a secular politician, “one thing he has done in his country — he has allowed Christians to proselytize.” He said, “Hussein allowed Christian churches to exist as a way of keeping Islam in check. You know that once he gets killed there will be a bloodbath in that nation, and every Christian in that nation will likely be killed because they are on somebody’s list right now.” Cooke added: “We need to pray for Saddam Hussein right now. No matter what you think about it, this guy is the only one standing between the church in Iran and Iraq and a bloodbath.We need that guy alive because thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people are getting saved in the country. There is a move of God there”

When Christians reason morally, we have to be very careful that we do not subvert a moral agenda to some perceived Biblical or spiritual agenda- even if it has some legitimate truth. (See KingdomNow) I could possibly agree with virtually every line in the above selection. But here is the deal. Every time I see the word “Iraq,” I translate it this way: “Rogue regime with nuclear, bio, and chemical weapons intent on nuking Atlanta and killing me and my kids.” Now, does God want Atlanta to be nuked so that Christians in Iraq can evangelize without government interference? If you think so, you need to be marching in D.C. this weekend. Slaughter of innocents as the price for church growth? OK, does that mean we should try every available reasonable method. Yes….....OK, we’ve done that now. Remember, all we have to do is take Hussein out of power. There are many evidences that large portions of the army will not fight to the death for this guy. The above scenario identifies some things that Christians need to consider, but our concerns for Kingdom growth can’t trump a nuked Atlanta.

MODERATOR NOTE: I will keep the pics on the server today, but tomorrow evening they will be coming off. Makes the load too slow for us dial-up types.

Tried some new shows this week, still looking for an X-Files replacement. “Dead Zone” has been about a C+, and is in reruns now. Liked “Robbery/Homicide Division.” Tom Sizemore is terrific. Liked “Without a Trace.” Anthony LaPaglia is one of my favorites. “Hack” was sort of “Touched By An Angel who is really a Vigalante.” Plugged into one of my personal fantasies! But this was odd. The episode totally ripped off the movie “Hardcore” with George C. Scott as a Dutch Reformed minister looking for his estranged runaway daughter in the world of porn movies. The guest star on Hack was a GCScott double, was a Lutheran minister come to town looking for his daughter, who was being held hostage to make porn movies. Anyone spell lawsuit? CSI was more of the same, which was good. CBS is kicking butt in the drama department. Now, if Hack could just take down Dan Rather.

SEEDS FOR FUTURE IM PIECES: I want to write about how evangelicals got into this mess. Two of the articles will be:
-What Happens When We Become (functionally or actually) Non-Confessional: Southern Baptists are my reference point here, but it applies to many evangelicals in letter and most in spirit. I mean what happened when churches decided they would no longer have a vital, functioning confession of faith? “This We Believe and This We Do Not.” It would be my contention that, at that point, several things happen: Leadership is disempowered, politics/sociology is empowered within the church, the Bible is demeaned to a devotional authority only (since it actually says nothing we can codify,) the message of the church is obscured, the church’s communication with believers is gutted, accountability is undermined, the church education program is defeated, pragmatism is given free reign, commercial/cultural interests will dominate, esp in worship, the church will likely fill with the unconverted. I would question whether a church without a confession endorsed by each elder and member is a church.
-What Happens When We Abandon Church Discipline: The majority of evangelical churches have totally abandoned church discipline. In fact, I know many full-blooded Southern Baptist deacons and ministers who will argue vehemently against Church Discipline ever being appropriate. This is a dire matter, and nearly totally ignored. By discipline I mean not only dealing with the errant, but with the requirements for church membership, attendance, financial support, personal conduct towards other members, admission to communion and baptism, requirements for leadership. Again, the effects have been many and insidious. The role of leaders has become that of entertainers and persuaders. It is more difficult to join the Kiwanis than the church. Many churches have no requirements for membership and are thus unable to discipline. The church evolves into an “entertainer-audience” relationship. Outright non-support is seen as a non-issue. In many churches, unbelieving, rebellious, unsubmissive and divisive people rule the church. Rank immorality- even among leaders- is seen as easily excusable. Accountability is undermined and God’s glory in his church is trampled under the unruly wills of churches that God would have let die in the wilderness. I would join Luther in saying that a mark of the true church is church discipline. The failure of evangelicals in these two matters would cause me to say that many evangelical gatherings are not churches, and interestingly, that some para-churches really are churches, or at least more so. (OBI has both a confession and written document that “disciplines” us, which our campus SBC “church” has no confession, no constitution, no church covenant.)

Whatever means you use to get people into the church is precisely what you must use to keep them. If you get them with a ‘religious circus’, then you must keep the circus going—keep up the entertainment. If you get them with biblical preaching and teaching, then that will keep them and you will not need the entertainment. Ernest Reisinger

Excellent article at CT about some of the shenanigans of the TNIV. Changing singulars to plurals for no compelling reason.

I predicted this in an IM column last year. “Beware the Class of ‘01.”Good news, but not as good as it seems.

Casual Sunday is called off at this church.

1) What are the most popular beers? P.O.C. (Pride of Cleveland) The last time I bought a six-pack of this stuff (more than 5 years but less than 10) it was $1.69
2) Do we have our own brew and what is it called?
3) Waiters or waitresses? Names? Igor and Olga. We had a Ron, but he got a real job. We also had a Laura, but she was, well, terminated.
4) Biggest tipper? Biggest tip? Steve—2 cents. :-)
5) Name of the BHT softball team? Stoners.
6) Who is the Bowling team and their averages? Angus—whatever he says; Jim—300; Mike B—43.
7) Most popular food dish?
8) Peanuts?
9) Special nights?
10) Why are the bathrooms so small?
Bonus) What was it before we moved in and is there any evidence left? Spunky’s Pizza Parlor—Umm . . .
11) House band name? 7th day Batholimennodisterian Our Lady of the Kentucky Nazdvent Boar’s Head Band – Missouri Reformed.

What ever happened to Rob Ray?

Great Stuff from Piper, and relevant to David’s comments and my essay:

We pastors are being killed by the professionalizing of the pastoral ministry. The mentality of the professional is not the mentality of the prophet. It is not the mentality of the slave of Christ. Professionalism has nothing to do with the essence and heart of the Christian ministry. The more professional we long to be, the more spiritual death we will leave in our wake. For there is no professional childlikeness (Matthew 18:3); there is no professional tenderheartedness (Ephesians 4:32); there is no professional panting after God (Psalm 42:1).

But our first business is to pant after God in prayer. Our business is to weep over our sins (James 4:9). Is there professional weeping? Our business is to strain forward to the holiness of Christ and the prize of the upward call of God (Philippians. 3:14); to pummel our bodies and subdue them lest we be cast away (1 Corinthians 9:27); to deny ourselves and take up the blood-spattered cross daily (Luke 9:23). . . .

God has exhibited us preachers as last of all in the world. We are fools for Christ’s sake. But professionals are wise. We are weak. But professionals are strong. Professionals are held in honor. We are in disrepute. We do not try to secure a professional lifestyle, but we are ready to hunger and thirst and be ill-clad and homeless. When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure; when slandered, we try to conciliate; we have become the refuse of the world, the off-scouring of all things (1 Corinthians 4:9-13). Or have we?

Brothers, we are not professionals! We are outcasts. We are aliens and exiles in the world (1 Peter 2:11). Our citizenship is in heaven, and we wait with eager expectation for the Lord (Philippians 3:20). You cannot professionalize the love for his appearing without killing it. And it is being killed.

John Piper, “Brothers, We Are Not Professionals! A Plea to Pastors for Radical Ministry,” (Broadman and Holman, 2002). The first chapter is available on the web at DesiringGod.org.

You guys are really making me feel good. Thanks for reading and I hope your own conversations and teaching are enhanced by my little essay nailed on the door. And please, pass the pieces on and see what happens.

DavidH: We are in a diabolical vortex on worship. The influence of the Christian publishing/music industry has now become a genuine threat to the vitality of the local church. Of course, the essay I need to write- and one day will—is about the surrender of pastors to this invasion. I was in a Bookstore a couple of years ago and a pastor came in, went right to the owner and asked, “What is hot right now? What are people really into?” Now here is the interesting thing to me: Why is that pastor asking that question to a Christian bookstore owner? There is the whole thing. Put it over into music or whatever, but that’s the deal. And as for your worship leader, give him the article and my e-mail addy.

I have to write a book!

As to Pizz-a-roma, they are open again and I would like to stop in for old times sake. Remember the carved on tables?

JimN: Great stuff. Thanks and have a good trip. I really appreciate your unique contribution.

Connie Chung has a piece tonight on women’s rights nazis who are upset that the Augusta Golf Club is all male. Think they are just as pissed that the Miss America Pageant is all girls? Where is a lawyer?

Michael S- just read the DVD anti-Christ article. You are so on target and the implications of the possibilities are truly staggering. Our contemporary worship guy is already trying to recreate moments from the MW Smith Worship CD in our services—particularly the one where the British fellow reads the Scripture during “Let it Rain” The illusion that ” if it’s on a CD, it must be right” is suffocating true worship for too many of this generation—whether it be from Passion or one of those Gaither Homecoming deals. There’s something to be said about this approach to turning the right worship key so God shows up this week. I haven’t thought this all the way through, but is it possible that we are crushing the heart’s impulse to worship when we come to mistrust our own singing, praying, preaching or silence as ” not the way it was on the CD.” God help us!

Tried to get in on the pizza discussion earlier, but got kicked out for some reason. I’m also partial to Pizza Hut thin crust, but I’ve always loved Joe Bologna’s in Lexington, KY. It may have been more for the breadsticks than the pizza, though. Mike S—remember Sunday nights at Pizz-A-Roma in O’boro? May have been the first pizza I had that wasn’t out of the little Chef Boy R Dee box..

Congrats to all Cardinal fans on the victory over FSU. Please help us cheer tomorrow when the Cats play the Gators. It would be nice to go 2-0 vs. the state of FL this week!

1) What are the most popular beers? I drink Saranac almost exclusively now, ever since the Sam Adams folks started in with church desicratin’. I’ve been know to sneak the occasional Hacker-Pschorr, especially their Weiss in its various forms.

2) Do we have our own brew and what is it called? Funny you should ask. Part of my annual fall pilgrimage (which begins tomorrow) involves a stop at the Matt Brewery (where Saranac is made) in Utica, NY. Their website offers the intriguing concept of buying their brew with your labeling. So start thinking of names, and I’ll see what arrangements can be made.

3) Waiters or waitresses? Names? I once moonlighted as a bouncer at a place called the Jug House. No joke, the two bartenders, the cook, and the other bouncer were all named “Jim”. When someone walked in and said, “Hi, Jim!”, half the bar turned around.

4) Biggest tipper? Biggest tip? My wife considers me an over-generous tipper, a fact I usually attribute as an unintended side-effect of my poor math skills. Does “Don’t eat Mexican food and stand next to an open flame” count as a tip?

5) Name of the BHT softball team? Hmm.. The Cannons of Doort?

>6) Who is the Bowling team and their averages? The last time I told anyone that I was going bowling, it was my parents, and I got some weed instead and had an accident in the car. I later claimed to bowl 300, but considering my legendary sports ignorance, I probably couldn’t get away with it again.

7) Most popular food dish? I’ll vote for the 18” sausage.

8) Peanuts? Well, of course, Schultz was a genius, but I’m more of a Calvin and Hobbes man myself.

9) Special nights? Well, there’s the monthy Dispensationalist Rollup, where we hijack Sunday School busses and show the kiddies how useful those extra pages in their Scoffield Bibles can be on “bowling” trips….

10) Why are the bathrooms so small? Because it makes it harder to miss when you’re really pissed.

Bonus) What was it before we moved in and is there any evidence left? Habitable. No.

Franklin Graham continues to make good sense. Without blaming or scapegoating, he is telling the truth.

Conservatives are standing up to Rowan Williams. It is encouraging to see this for a change. May their tribe increase.

Excellent Jane Chastain article on the real- and ignored- sex abuse scandal.

Boys murder mom after she complains about not getting the right cheeseburger.

1) What are the most popular beers? I’m having the IBC and the occaisonal Fosters
2) Do we have our own brew and what is it called?
3) Waiters or waitresses? Names? Weasel and ….Laura ;-)
4) Biggest tipper? Biggest tip?
5) Name of the BHT softball team? Boulders
6) Who is the Bowling team and their averages? Bart, Eric, Scott. 150, 120, 220
7) Most popular food dish? Mutton
8) Peanuts? By the barrel
9) Special nights?
10) Why are the bathrooms so small? Because most of us are so big
Bonus) What was it before we moved in and is there any evidence left? A Monastery Wine Cellar, what else?

RE:Pizza: Amongst the ninety-eight gazillion reasons why America is the best country in the world is the following fact:

Our BAD pizza beats everyone else’s GOOD pizza, hands down.

I quit eating pizza while I was in London. It just wasn’t worth the heartache.

For the record, the best pizza I ever had was at a basement restaurant in downtown Chicago. I don’t remember the name, but my tastebuds have never forgiven me for not taking them back there.

Michael: Re: “The Antichrist”
Dagnabbit, Spencer, you just keep making sense about so many things. You’re musings continue to convict this repentant ex-revolutionary of his wayward ways. Excellent, excellent article.

ALL: If you haven’t read Michael’s take on the church, then do. Don’t argue, just read it. Then go to church on Sunday.

It’s amazing how a topic can evolve around this place.

Ten Things I want to know about the Boar’s Head:

1) What are the most popular beers?
2) Do we have our own brew and what is it called?
3) Waiters or waitresses? Names?
4) Biggest tipper? Biggest tip?
5) Name of the BHT softball team?
6) Who is the Bowling team and their averages?
7) Most popular food dish?
8) Peanuts?
9) Special nights?
10) Why are the bathrooms so small?
Bonus) What was it before we moved in and is there any evidence left?

Each of Spunky’s famous breadsdicks come individually wrapped.

Commercial for Spunk-y’s (to be broadcast during Survivor Thailand to try to entice people to actually watch):

Interior, Italian Mamma’s kitchen. There is a broad-shouldered, big-gutted, Italian Man sitting at table in dimly lit kitchen. He is wearing a “wife-beater” style t-shirt, he has a big nose, and his hair is slicked back but a little mussed.
Behind him is Italian Mamma, wearing a stained apron and holding a pan which contains a Spunk-y’s “Frozen Specimen” pizza (available in your pharmacist’s freezer); the pie is minus one slice. The slice is on the Itallian man’s plate.
Mamma looks on expectantly as Italian man picks up slice, takes bite. Spunk-y’s special sauce runs down his chin as he chews.
He swallows, looks at Mamma.

Italian Man: “That’s-a good! Just-a like Papa used to make!”

Music (“Do That to Me One More Time” or “Oops! I Did it Again”) swells as Italian Mamma, extatic, bends over to hug Italian Man. As the two embrace, camera zooms in on Italian man’s face as he scarfs rest of pizza behind Mamma’s back.
Announcer, as picture fades: “Spunk-y’s: Just like Papa used to make. Pick some up today: large, extra large, or ‘Make me call you Uncle’ size.”

How about a picture of former President Clinton at Spunky’s?

Crabs and Spunky’s famous breadsdicks®

Check out our newest location, right next to the Salty Dog Inn.

Hand Made Spunk-y’s Pizza, it’s the best!

Spunky’s New Jingle (sung by George Michael and R. Kelly):

Tired of all those other guys?
Come to Spunky’s for a nice surprise!
Bring the fam and have a ball—
We’ll be shocked if you can eat it all!
So don’t just sit there, bored or sick:
Come to Spunky’s and have some

Quick Service!

Spunky’s—We make it fresh!

Spunky’s motto: “We got ya big sausage with cheese right here. Now where ya gonna put it?”

Sign in Spunky’s: Ask our waiters what else you can do with garlic butter.

BTW—There is a softball game scheduled Saturday between the Boar’s Head Tavern and the regulars at Spunkys.

What do you call the foam on a beer at Spunky’s?

Steve Earle’s new cd is reviewed in Weekly Standard, and it is a hoot to read the historical nonsense in the liner notes. Bart, can you get me an autographed copy?

Just finished watching “A Time To Kill.” What a great movie.

Wonder what the bread sticks look like at Spunky’s? (What do you really do with them?)

“I adore Spunky’s pizza!”

Bart: Let’s ask some of those Californians from San Francisco what they think of Spunky’s pizza.

“Excuse me, sir, what do think of the pizza?”

“It’s wonderful. What is that taste? I know I’ve had that taste in my mouth before.”

(Has anyone seen the movie “The Hollywood Knights”?)

At Spunky’s, we only use fresh, organic ingredients.

Those Guys just need some Spunky’s Pizza.

In case you miss my wacked coments from right field, you can always visit LibertyThink. Their headline today is ”. Should Gov. Davis call out National Guard to defend medical marijuana patients from federal agents? ” That should keep you going for a while.

I once got a pizza from a local shop that smelled like detergent. There were actually bits of laundry soap in the box. We don’t eat there any more.

There are a lot of good pizzarias in NJ. I’m biased toward one in particular, because the owner is a friend. We don’t get to eat there much because the layout isn’t “family friendly” (ever watch 4 kids eat?) We do Pizza Hut on occasion, and there’s a really nice place about a mile from our church that does their pizzas in a wood-burning oven. Yum.

I’m departing tomorrow for the Great White North for a few days. Probably won’t get to post much, unless it rains, in which case I probably will post too much.

Spunky’s has a “Fromunda Cheese” special on the weekends, I think.

EW. Was the name of that place “Spunky’s Pizza”? I bet they have big contingent of customers from the health food crowd, they like the high protein content in the Wednesday special, “an extra-large Spunky’s @$$ cheese and sausage”.

I HAD a favorite pizza place in Cleveland that served awesome deep dish, Chicago style pizza. Then one day an investigative reporter from a local television station acquired security camera footage of one of the managers and an employee doing the horizontal mambo on the prep counter. Brings a whole new meaning to the term “white” pizza, doesn’t it.

Gentleman: (The guy in the back, not the rest of you lowlife, beer drinkin’, theology discussing freaks)
I must start out by saying to Greg, you are correct, the score would have been different. U of L would have been able to score on those other two trips inside the 2 yard line. As a former Uof L student, all I have to say is L’ Yesss! Send that bunch of non graduating – 90% discounted athletic clothing wearing – Mercedes driving – semi-pro athlete having – Goofy oakley sunglass wearing – team back to wear they came from. My football season is complete. And God Bless Dave Ragone and the Brilliant Cleveland Brown Loving womb that bore him.

Pizza…you don’t want me in this discussion, as I am both THE most qualified expert in this joint and the biggest Pizza snob on the planet…ask Spencer, he knows. By the way MS, here’s a boulder just for you. you didn’t mention the Zah I made for your family way back in 1992. I’m hurt.

Hear that bell? That is the death knell for what little life I had: I just found out that I am picking up another class, which brings me to teaching 18 hours a week and grading 22 more papers than I already have to grade. The part-time prof who was teaching it had emergency surgery, or some other lame excuse, and I am the low full-time dude on the totum pole, after all the other p.t. people said they couldn’t do it. This is worse than the time when I was teaching ninth grade English and the loser-ly sophomore English teacher got fired for DUI in a school vehicle—that time my student load doubled over the weekend. Oh, and did I mention I will have to drive an hour to teach the class?
But you know what—I love this job. I still say I have worked a lot harder for a lot less money and for a far smaller sense of fulfillment, so I can’t complain. Just everyone please pray for me and my family for the next nine weeks—that’s two nights a week I will be gone from home.
Best pizza: I admit that I am a sucker for chain pizza. I loved Papa Johns for a long time, but as Mr. Beamer pointed out, it is easy to burn out on, which I did. The last few pizza excursions, I have thoroughly enjoyed the Domino’s here. I haven’t enjoyed theirs everywhere I go, but they make a good pie here. The best pizza in the world (at least speaking of chain pizza) is Pizza Hut, thin crust, pepperoni. There’s so much grease on that thing you could slick your hair back and do a Sha-Na-Na revival, but MAN is it good. Makes my toes curl. It’s so good, I would even go Michael’s route and add the mushrooms and sausage (mushrooms are good on any and everything, pretty much). Unfortunately, they have an excellent Pizza Hut lunch buffet here in Central City where I teach—that’s like putting a heroin addict in an “All You Can Shoot” den. “Please get a fresh needle everytime you return for more horse.”

Want proof that evolution is a religion and not a science? From CNN:

“Selman, who has a son in Cobb schools, sued the system because some middle and high school science textbooks include a disclaimer telling students that evolution is a theory and not a fact. He argued that the disclaimer was a step toward introducing religion in schools, which is unconstitutional.”

Putting in a disclaimer that evolution is still a theory, not a law, and therefore not proven fact somehow introduces religion. I will have to talk to my flying pig about that one.

Pizza: I used to love Papa John’s, but got burnt out. The best pizzas I have tried:

1. Ron’s white pizza, Colorado Springs, CO (Ron decided to move on and sell the business, so it bites now) – Excellent grilled garlic and virgin olive oil.
   
2. Mountain Mushroom’s Pike’s Peak, Colorado Springs, Colorado – a huge pizza with gobs of cheese. Have to eat it with a fork. Excellent flavor.
   
3. Dino’s Pepperoni Pizza, Tampa, FL (Dino’s unfortunately grew too fast and is now defunct)
   
4. Mama Teori’s Everything Pizza, Bellevue, TN with spicy sauce (Mama’s is also defunct, due to competition, but the choice of regular or spicy sauce was primo)
   
5. Beamer Homemade Pizza – when I have time to properly blanche the roma tomatos. I tend to make a mountain of pizza, as well.
   

Here’s what you’ll turn into.

It’s a half day of classes, then 3+ hours being available to meet with families to talk about grades, then its a 9 day break. I have been in such pain with my hurt leg that the last few days at school have been miserable. If I could have been home with my leg up it would be better. I figure it will be another week before I feel human. On break we are going to eat with the Birchs, go see Four Feathers, going to see Rigney, going to eat homemade pie at a truck stop in Dale, Indiana, going to see our parents, getting my daughter’s senior portraits made, buying books and a couple of DVDs, eating too much and driving too much. When we return I am being put on the team that interviews students and families during the admissions process. The end of the Sunday afternoon nap, a Spencer non-negotiable my entire life. What will I turn into?

#5 Regular Pizza Hut Thin Crust Pepperoni, Suasage and Mushroom.
#4 Spencer Family Home Made Pepperoni, with crust from the bread machine and just the right amount of olive oil.
#3 Shirley’s Pizza, Owensboro, KY (Gone but not forgotten) Special spices in the sausage, all pizza covered in slabs of mozzarella.
#2 Impellizzeri’s Louisville. One piece. That’s it.
#1 Gino’s East Chicago. Voted best in the world. Deserved it. The Mecca of Pizza.

WOW!! First time in school history, the Cards football team beat a top 5 ranked opponent. What an upset.

Boys, I’m buying the Pappa John’s for everybody. Cards win! Cards win!

Is it the monsoon like rain?
Is it the fact that they’re playing on national television?
Could it be that their quaterback, Dave Ragone, is from Cleveland, Ohio?
Whatever the reason, U of L is playing No. 4 ranked Florida State tough. Just tied the score at 20, early in the 4th quarter.

Speaking of DVD Antichrist :::::::::::shudder::::::::::

My prof for my exegesis of Jeremiah class did about three days on prophecy and its role in the OT. If those clowns took prophecy seriously at all they would stone themselves. I may not be without sin, but when a clown says “Thus says the Lord” and hasn’t stood in the counsel of God, well, I’ll toss the first 100% Angus-approved boulder at him. And since I’m on Angus’ team I imagine that Angus has got a boulder to toss, too.

This never got posted and I’m not sure I can find a link, but did anyone read the story (it was on MSNBC.com yesterday) about the Christians who were executed by some Muslims (surprise!) in Pakistan. God bless ‘em. Just a few more to cry out “How long?!”

I’ve got a new article for IM, but I don’t have room on IM for it at this point: Stalking the DVD Antichrist: The end of worship as we know it…and we feel fine..

Re: The (Loon) Prophets—Paul Cain: “We need to try some diplomacy here before we do anything else.” And the past 11 years has been what?

“The better angels: Why Americans are still fighting over who was right and who was wrong in the Civil War”

Michael, did Monday teach you nothing? :-)

“You call a tree a tree, and you think nothing more of the word. But it was not a ‘tree’ until someone gave it that name. You call a star a star, and say it is just a ball of matter moving on a mathematical course. But that is merely how you see it. By so naming things and describing them you are only inventing your own terms about them. And just as speech is invention about objects and ideas, so myth is invention about truth. We have come from God, and inevitably the myths woven by us, though they contain error, will also reflect a splintered fragment of the true light, the eternal truth that is with God.”—-J.R.R. Tolkien

HOLD THE PRESSES> The (Loon) PROPHETS are advising NO WAR WITH IRAQ!!!!! STOP NOW!

Now if Christian students want to do something in public schools. I will support this (as opposed to praying on your knees in the halls, etc.) This is what we did in the 70’s and it was plenty bold, but didn’t disturb anyone’s school day at all.

What kind of an evil mood am I in? READ THIS!!!!

Hmmmm. American Churches are wonderfully predictable.

Miss America is another bigoted Christian beauty pageant.

I mean, from the standpoint of the Christian worldview, isn’t the particular ideological justification used by unbelievers (or sinning believers) really irrelevant? All this analysis and preaching about Islam going on seems to be missing the point. All religions are the road to hell. Hey boys and girls, we are ALL VIOLENT. That some people cook up ways to say be violent and you get virgins in paradise or God says be violent is just another proof of the basic problem: We kicked God out and installed ourselves. Now, we will do whatever we damn well please and say God is behind it. So whether it is the witch trials or 9/11 or a pastor shooting his wife or what I might do tomorrow- We ALL have a reason we will cite as justification, and its all a load of baloney.

And didn’t Jesus say we could expect to be killed? Does it matter particularly who does it? Different flags, but all on the same team. I hate it for the seven murdered in Pakistan, but the shooters could just as well have been atheists or Hindus or Amway salesmen. Jesus died. So will a lot of his followers.

I prefer to say THIS describes what is going on right now:

“Genesis 6:5-8 5 Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And the LORD was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. 7 So the LORD said, “I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth, both man and beast, creeping thing and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them.” 8 But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD….Genesis 6:11-13 11 The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. 12 So God looked upon the earth, and indeed it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted their way on the earth. 13 And God said to Noah, “The end of all flesh has come before Me, for the earth is filled with violence through them; and behold, I will destroy them with the earth.”

Romans 1:28-32 28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, 30 backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; 32 who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.

I am always a bit distressed at the “Us vs Them” tone that we can adopt when this stuff starts up, as it has again in Pakistan. What does Gen 16:12 prove? That all Arabs are destined to be violent? I prefer to look at the texts above and remember that we are all sinners and that we are all capable of going down the WRONG ROAD in our religious or political or racial zealotry. I know there are millions of peaceful Muslims. I am savvy enough to know that those peaceful Muslims, if they all got together and issued a press release condemning the violence, would accomplish next to nothing. I cannot urge Christians to forget our atrocities. I would urge us to include slavery and the treatment of native Americans. We have no business trying to say Muslims are worse sinners than Christians. BUT-We should clearly say that Islam provides a justification for violence in its own scriptures and in its own leader that Christianity does not provide. Christian atrocities were committed counter to the example of Jesus. But we know they weren’t committed counter to some of the examples in the Old Testament. I am prepared to be as humble before a Muslim friend as I need to be, If they will admit that the problem is a two way street, on the HUMAN SIDE. NOW- Let’s talk about JESUS, not about history.

Jim: The peaceful religion, when it becomes the predominant religion, commonly masacres Christians. You can see hundreds, if not thousands, of Christians killed yearly in countries like Algeria, Egypt, Nigeria, Sudan and Indonesia. In countries where there are fewer numbers of Muslims, you generally see the destruction of churches (primarily with bombs) and the killing of Christian leaders, as has happened in Ethiopia, Comoros, Kenya, Mauritania, Kazakhstan, Pakistan, Phillipines, Tajikistan and Macedonia. This is, by no means, an exhaustive list.

When you mention this, be prepared to hear about Christian atrocities, like the Crusades (1270 AD is the latest), the Inquisition (mid 1500s AD) and the Salem Witch Trials (1697 AD). A few will even mention the millions, er, hundreds of thousands, er, tens of thousands, er, a few thousand that were found in graves in Serbia that prompted the world tribunal to arrest and try Milosevic.

President Al Gore: Today, we are finally going to get serious about Iraq. In memory of the one million people, who died in a nuclear holocaust in Atlanta, and the five hundred thousand in Dallas, the one point six million in Los Angeles and the one point two million in SanFrancisco, we are suggesting the the United Nations strongly condemn Sadaam Hussein’s actions and brand him as a terrorist. If he does not allow immediate weapons inspections, we will get very, very mad.

Looking on the bright side of the nuclear bombings, we find the following:
First, no endangered species were harmed in the nuclear blasts.
Second, as automobile emissions have been reduced in these metro areas, which should have a positive effect on global warming.

Mike: Richard Cranium it is!!! I actually knew a guy in elementary school named Richard Head. I believe he shot his parents at the age of 12 (LOL).

In keeping with Bart’s post, and to show there’s no hard feelings, I’ll own up to similar thoughts toward the senate. For those who need prose explanations, I offer NR’s editorial, which contains this gem:

How can the Democrats be taken seriously on Iraq? One day they demand a debate on Iraq, the next day they accuse Bush of “wagging the dog” for having a debate on Iraq. One day the Democratic chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee says we should be confronting the terrorist regimes of Iran and Syria before going after Saddam. The next, Democrats (including Gore) criticize Bush’s proposed Iraq resolution because it might leave open the possibility of confronting Iran and Syria.

which, I might add, justifies the cost of a subscription to NR.

Pakistani gunmen kill 7 Christians. Look, folks, how many attacks on places like “The Institute for Peace and Justice” do muslims need to pull before we get it into our skulls that they are against, well, peace and justice?? The only problem with our Iraq plans is that they aren’t broader. I’m coming around to Ann Coulter’s position, which is a lot to say for an Arab-sympathiser like myself.