Michael: Bro. you are livin’ too close to the Mason-Dixon line. Why what you have written prit near comes to fightin’ words, and I am almost offended by them. I, sir, am white-collared. (JN)

(JN) Now Ken, I am generally kind to the conspiratorially minded, but you are getting close to the edge. Liberal nonsense about the content of hot dogs has been making the rounds for years. I see the dark hand of PETA at work, hoping to turn the appetite of the blue collar class in Arkansas to things green and mulchy. (Cuddish, even.) I have a personal relationship with over 300 swine on the OBI farm, and each one assures me that to achieve the status of a Field’s Weiner would truly be all a hog could hope for.


Might I remind you, Mr. Smarty-Pants, that I have eaten Ball Park Franks in both Wrigley Field and Fenway Park!! I count these moments in the top 3 sensual experiences of a lifetime. Further, the spiritual- yes, I said SPIRITUAL- pleasure derived from a Kentucky State Fair Polish Sausage or Corn Dog is more than mortal words can describe. Where is my hymnal? One must sing to even approach the truth.


I suggest you consider pulling your child from public schools as soon as possible. This is further evidence of what is really going on behind closed doors in education today! What next? Lessons against Mom, Apple Pie, Baseball?

Speaking of food, a co-worker of mine used to be a buyer for a large regional food chain. He once got to tour a Hormel plant (now Swift Hormel). He described the process he saw of making ‘Lil Sizzlers sausage links. Needless to say, I haven’t eaten a ‘Lil Sizzler since then.

Michael: My daughter learned, this year in eighth grade health class, that the frankfurter (dog) portion of that corn dog is now guaranteed by the USDA to contain 25 percent less hair than previously contained in hot dogs. Something like over the last 5 years. Not that I am a hot dog expert, mind you. But I have eaten only one hot dog since learning this valuable information.

I have taken the GRE twice, at $75 a hit. I have no idea what I made, and I do not care. I am now equipped, however, to ruminate and pontificate on questions such as this: “As Jim is to Willie, so _________ is to colon.” Education is a wonderful thing.


I have just partaken of one of nature’s perfect foods: The Corn Dog. In fact, for $740, which you major playas could drop in a second, we could have a Corn Dog Fryer here at the BHT, and that would be better than…..well, it would be great.

This MT thingy pegs the ole’ Wizzometer. Maybe just cuz it’s new and I was getting bored with Blogger. (I am so jaded.)

Kurt: I have taken the GRE, wonderful scam that it is (your undergraduate degree is not enough to prove that you can make in grad school. Evidently, a four-hour test for $100+ is the true indicator). Where was I? Oh yes. I prepared by using GRE for Dummies book. It’s slightly humorous (though at times grating), and it gets you very familiar with the format of the test, which is the unnerving part. Sure, the questions are difficult, but your education should have prepared you for those. But, as with a lot of tests, part of doing well on the GRE is about knowing how to take the GRE, and I thought that book did a good job of preparing me for that part. In fact, I have loaned that book out to a lot of people who are taking the test, and I would lend it to you as well, except that someone else who is taking it soon has it right now. But if they give it back soon, do you want a go at it? I can mail it to you if so.

I’ll have to take the stupid thing again (subject test) whenever I get started on my PhD. Grumble, grumble. What a scam.

Kurt, that comment was hilarious. Unfortunately, some of the rest of the comments are good examples of why I hate Christians.

The Ethics of the “Tentmaking” strategy: The Cooperative Baptist Fellowship (moderate/liberal SBC) is rethinking the “tentmaking” strategy of sending Christians into closed countries without saying they are there to evangelize. This has been a fundamental part of the missions picture since the 1980’s. The question of ethics is a viable one, and I am not comfortable with lying in the cause of evangelism, which goes on. It is one of the reasons I gladly support GFA and their commitment to NOT send in westerners, but to use indigenous Christians. This is a strategy that works! (It’s pragmatic!) And it leaves behind the cultural and political baggage. On the other hand, it is not unethical or inappropriate for a Christian to go into China to teach English, and it is not ethically necessary to say “Oh by the way, I’m here to evangelize!” CBF most likely has some theological issues at work as well. They need to look at the mainlines, who have now become missions dinosaurs or government puppets because, at the root, they think the world doesn’t need to hear about a Savior.

For those of you who are Rich Mullins Fans, you will probably be very interested in the long-awaited release of “Here In America.” This collection is made up of an audio CD of live material and demos (some unreleased,) and a DVD of an in-studio concert (not long before Rich’s death) and a set of live “talks” by Rich at a retreat. For those who consider Mullins to be a significant musician, a significant Christian, and a great companion on the Way, this is a wonderful set. It’s bittersweet to see and hear Rich, and realize how much we are missing in his absence.


If you have never read Rich Mullins: An Arrow Pointing To Heaven, you will be amazed at several things. You will be drawn to Rich’s humanity and struggle, but you will also be moved by his salt-of-the-earth approach to the Christian life. Most people don’t know that Rich lived in poverty and gave away the majority of his money to ministries. Where most Christian artists are big on the talk, Rich was a man who walked the walk. You will also appreciate his insightful Biblical lessons. He was a great teacher, who knew how to make powerful points without ranting or whining or skewering. A wonderful man was on the earth. Learn more about him.

If y’all need a cheap laugh (hey, who doesn’t?) go to this Razormouth article and scroll down to the comment that is titled “YO YO YO WASSSSSUP??”


Ah, I’m so easily amused….

One of my all time favorite posts:


(Scene opens… the Tavern is filled with its normal gents and gels… a fire is crackling, continually feeding off the flamable materials from the collected works of Bruce Wilkinson and Benny Hinn… The crowd begins to sing as a midget with an accordion plays a merry pirate tune…)


Heeeeeeeeeyyyyyy


Blog, Nog, and DVD

Such a wonderful life fer ye

Listen me mates so carefully

‘Bout me blog, nog, and DVD.


(scruffy-looking chap jumps on the table in the center of the room… as the song slows to a storytelling-crawl)


When I was just a young lad

I had me a thought or four

I’d open up me a tavern

And sweep peanuts off the floor

But I was called to preachin’

And some said my beerin’ wasn’t God.

So I said, “Dear chaps, if ye want to

You can join me at my blog.”


(crowd sings a rousing round of the chorus again, as another gent climbs on the center table)


It came to be ‘bout Christmas

The birthtime of Our Lord

And a spirit of peace came ‘pon me

Shut up… I wasn’t bored

It was something real and sturdy

Didna come from ale or grog

And it was then that I knew

That Mike had spiked the nog…


(crowd sings yet another round as a third gent climbs to action…)


I know you’ll think me nutter

For watchin me DVDs

But I’m tellin’ you, it’s so much fun

Watchin’ ‘em flap on the line in the breeze

I like the kind you box in

And the kind for other sports…

What? Oh DVDs..

Not BVDs

Oops.

Dandy embarrasing one, that one…

‘Ere I go on talkin’ about me underwear, and you’re wantin’ a song about an entertainment format, not hearin’ about me drawers. I mean… if you’d wanted to hear about me drawers, you could’ve just asked me, I guess. That way, I wouldn’t have been makin’ a fool o’ meself in front of everyone here. Talkin’ ‘bout me drawers flappin’ in the wind, and how much I like watchin’ them… right peaceful, you know… Like watching a giant flag, proudly waving… Makes you want to stand tall for your country, right, mates? Nothin’ quite like watchin’ your bloomers dance on the air like ballet dancers at a really windy performance of Derfendunse Acknodriben. ‘Ello, ma’am.


Right then.


(He steps down from the table, and the Tavern resumes normal business.)


Scott Ward: December 6, 2002

I was just browsing through the archives and found my first BHT post from February 12, 2002:


It’s too early to think heavy thoughts.


I have a sugesstion for Hilary’s 2004 campaign slogan: “Did the last Democrat President leave you with a bad taste in your mouth? Vole Hilary in 2004. This Clinton may give you an earful, but she will never give you a mouthful.”

Paid for in part by the committee for the proper use of cigars and other tobacco products and DAMM (Drunks Against Madd Mothers).


As far as what to look for in a President—how about the ability to perform the Heimlich maneuver on yourself using the back of a chair.


That’s all for now, folks. I’m going back to bed.


I should have stayed in bed.

Michael:

Does this mean that Jim finally gets his “Jim is being sarcastic” rule added to the rules list? Speaking of big events, I’m sure my expulsion is in the wings. “We had to get rid of him. He was too boring and dull.”


Oh, and its Gandalf, not Gandolf. I mean, I hate to pick nits, but y’know, when a man puts a Balrog in its place, he deserves to get his name spelled right. Sho’ nuff.


Everybody:

On a selfish, and unrelated note, has anybody here taken the GRE? If so, I wanna know what you know about it, and how best to prepare.

Hey! I still post. I’m just not witty and erudite anymore. (The pharmaceuticals are working…)

Well, I am truly moved. Courtesy of our very own Gandalf, JimN, I have just read the very first BHT post. Feb 7, 2002. Did you know there are over 11,000 BHT posts? And every last one of them will be accessible on the new MT BHT? What will you get to read?

The booting of Laura.

The Wisdom of Steve S

Irrefutable proof that I have run off a number of good people

The Kingdom Now debacle.

The posts of Jack Heald, back when he used to post

And more…... Stay tuned!!!

“I’m committed to building—as best I can—a clearly evangelical basis for spiritual direction and to probe the mystery of the human soul, to understand our capacity for the passion and enjoyment of God, to understand sin as our treasonous pursuit of joy from some other source than God, and to understand what Trinitarian-like community really is so we can join each other on the journey.”- Larry Crabb speaking at SBTS. JimN and I have disagreed about Crabb a bit. This article says a lot of the things that I appreciate about his message. (He is NOT just another Christian shrink.)

This was posted by a good guy over at Pipertalk, and this link is what he is referring to in his comments: Frank Garlock says CCM Is Just a Cultural Thing, but it’s promoting the wrong culture. I replied over at Pipertalk.

I would appreciate help with this issue. I am really struggling with the whole CCM movement. Is a Christian who listens to it unwise and compromising the purity of the Gospel by wedding Christianity with “worldiness” ? I really enjoy the music of Caedmon’s Call, Shayne Barnard, Fernando Ortega, Jacob’s Cross, and others. I thought I was pretty well settled on this issue until recently when a few people whom I respect highly for their work’s sake shared their concern for my music standards.


It has seemed to me that Western Christianity has been greatly (?) influenced by neo-platonic thought (spirit good, matter bad). Thus, Western Christians are quick to condemn that which moves the emotions much more than it connects with the mind. It seemed to me that this kind

of thinking was what was driving the anti-CCM movement in large measure. Now I must say that there is much about CCM that I am not happy with. Much of it lacks substance and is full of froth. But articles like the one given to me below have made me wonder if I am missing something. I want every aspect of my life to be pleasing to Christ. Can anyone help direct my thinking?

Michael: Your question sounds an awful lot like the dead horse to me. From the standpoint that man is not in control, one might say no. After all, the matrix people are just veggies that have over active imaginations. Of course, Jesus stated that sin begins in the mind, so the argument that these people sinned via their thoughts could be put forth and still have man having free will. Then, there are some who do have control. Perhaps they are the only one’s that can be held accountable.


Here is another question: Assume we are living in the matrix right now. Would the matrix allow us to dream up a movie about the matrix? HMMMM!

Ken B: On Noah – We know (Ge 5:32) Noah was 500 years old when his sons were born. Noah was 600 when the floods came (Ge 7:11) and the waters flooded for 150 days, so he was either still 600 or was 601 when the waters receeded. We know he had faith as he built an altar to the LORD (Ge 8:20), but also got drunk (Ge 9). By the New Testament, we know Noah was a man of faith (Heb 11:7 – of course, with the altar, this is no surprise), that water saved Noah, as it now symbolizes the salvation of man through baptism (1 Pe 3:21) and that he was a preacher (2 Pe 2:5).


Did he preach salvation prior to the flood? From human experience, we can assume this, but there is no scriptural proof in the authorized canon. This is what Gospelcom asserts, however, so you might read that article. There are also sites that quote him preaching for hundreds of years and attribute the Q’uran.


Note that the scriptural reference to 120 years comes from Genesis 6:3: Then the LORD said, “My Spirit will not contend with man forever, for he is mortal; his days will be a hundred and twenty years.” – Most commentaries state this is the maximum life span of man, and not the number of years the LORD gave man before the flood. As such, it is a risky assertion to state he preached to man for 120 years, especially in light of the other references to Noah’s age.

Repeat- But how about a REALLY STRANGE QUESTION OF THE DAY? (Questions actually.)


Suppose the worldview of “The Matrix” were true. Would human beings in the Matrix be “sinners?” Could God hold them responsible for their sins and justly judge them as guilty?

Michael: On holodecks, we really are into a fantasy world now, eh? Mark me down as a skeptic that anything that involved will ever work. But assuming it did, yes, I think one would be responsible for one’s sinful actions within such an environment. Adultery with an unreal human is still adultery. Murder is touchier, since you would theoretically “know” that you weren’t really killing a person.


Like most things, I guess it comes back to heart attitude. Someone who kills a construct in a holodeck probably has some sin issues in there somewhere, else why bother? But maybe not, there are probably perfectly good and valid reasons to kill someone. Er, virtually, that is. :)


Obviously I believe that we are more than animals, with greater potential than the sum of our parts. It seems like perhaps the Matrix trilogy might be heading in that direction, too, if it isn’t already there. Why else would 1% not accept the matrix? And so on.

Ok, we should be back

Another quick test – hold those posts for a while. Sorry.

Michael, too much of Hentoff’s arguments make no sense to me:

His view that Bruce’s conviction led to his drug problems and eventual death sounds suspiciously like the old liberal idea that people are basically good, but society’s structures force them to become bad. I don’t buy it. Bruce was responsible for his actions and his reactions. He killed himself. Nobody within the state of New York’s judicial system should feel guilty for that.

Even worse, how is a constitutional argument over how obscenity laws intersect with freedom of speech in any way related to discussions of free speech on campus? College speech codes are enforced by academic cliques; attendance at those colleges is voluntary. Obscenity laws are enforced by the police and the judiciary; compliance with them is required of all citizens. While I agree that campus PC speech codes are a great evil, I don’t see how overturning Bruce’s conviction (or worse, issuing a pardon) sends any meaningful message to tenured liberal university profs with an axe to grind against white European males. If Bruce’s conviction was wrong, it should be overturned by the courts. Pardons were intended as a corrective, part of the system of checks and balances that would be invoked when all recourse under the normal judicial process had failed. I don’t see how that applies here – where is the string of rejected appeals? Where is the continuing instance of abuse?

PhillipW: I can see that if the “reality” dimension of video games increases to becoming a full sensory experience it will raise moral issues. For instance, take the holodeck scenario on STNG. What kind of ethical quandaries would I be entering into to program adultery or murder into the “game?” Hmmm…. What if we show up at judgement and we are responsible for the realities we create and not just the ones we are given. At the end of the day, we are brains receiving signals aren’t we? Or are we more? :-)

I agree that the illusions we live in are the creations of our self-deceptive hearts. But whatever the “reality” of the universe, God is ultimately responsible and his character is just and good. He isn’t beyond Good and Evil, but the essence of good. In that sense, the Matrix of our lives is far more complex. There is the truth of God’s original creation, broadcast to us in scripture, and in God’s intrusions into history, most notably in Jesus. Then there is the illusion of our own hearts and the collective Matrix of the “World” that lies in corporate rebellion against God. Then throw Satan into the mix!!! Wow.

Geldof seems to have Clinton pegged: “Clinton was a good guy, but he did f*** all.” I guess Ol’ Bill did get around.

Too bad we Christians are so opposed to the use of condoms that we insist on abstinence. Sheeze. Not even the hint of a nod to the idea that the US might oppose condom distribution because it’s not effective in preventing AIDS as well as abstinence.

I know this stuff shouldn’t bother me…

Michael: We are already victims of illusion. Our hearts are deceitfully wicked, who can know his? We sin as we are led away by our own lusts and enticed, but we are still guilty of the sin. I suppose that the key difference might be that currently the illusions are generally our own, while within the matrix scenario, the illusion is externally imposed by God, correct?

By the way, my answers are coming off as pat, but it’s actually a great thought-provoking question.

As far as God’s ethical situation, I’m not sure I see an appreciable difference between this scenario and the ones spelled out in several parables, where a small test serves as an indicator for larger actions. Did the men given a number of talents know that they were being tested under what might be seen as artificial conditions? Or for that matter, since we are eternal beings temporarily earth-bound, is this not already an unnatural “testing ground” that will bear little resemblance to our eternal “real life”?

Slightly off-topic: My wife isn’t fond of violent video games, but I think I spent far too much of my life playing Doom and Doom II to ever judge the violence of the games my kids play. :)

Anyway, when your son kills somebody in a game, he isn’t really fully on that level of abstraction. He is not personally involved in murder, he is playing a role. If he woke up a la Resident Evil in a strange house and found himself in an underground government facility and started killing people, then we could talk about whether he could claim self-defense or not. But playing a game is a radically different level of presupposition than believing yourself to really be “there,” wherever “there” is.

I would say that if somebody truly believes that they have killed someone, then they can be judged (by God) for having done so from an ethical position. (Not a legal one.) Remember that humans are eternal beings, so when we kill someone now, we don’t actually end their existence either!

A posthumus pardon for Lenny Bruce would send a message to those trying to scuttle free speech today. It was wrong when they convicted Lenny. It’s wrong when you enforce PC speech codes today.

The secret life of Ronald Mcdonald.

Can God please come to the phone? Gee, I know several people who have a direct line. No dial up needed.

Bob Geldoff likes GWB’s Africa policy.

Phillip: Certainly our original corruption is still a problem. But how about the ethics of God? (Just to poke a wasp’s nest.) If, in fact, I did nothing wrong, but had the wrong desire, then I am guilty. But if the entire construct is an illusion, then I am a victim of that illusion. Preceding all my choices is the presupposition of reality. What if that presupposition is altered? Reality is me in a bunch of goop. For instance, when my son kills someone on a game, he assumes the presupposition of the cyber-world. Is he guilty of murder? Or does the presupposition make all the difference in how he would be judged?

Michael: Yes, He could and would and should. After all, while the jury is still out on the extent of perdeterminism in the second film, a human who believes he is encountering reality is still choosing to sin. (Or, er, is compelled to sin by his own sinful nature and all that. Humor me, please.)

To my programmer mind, it’s all about layers of abstraction. While objectively we can say that the person is in a tub of goop, within the layer that person sees, he is free. The interesting thing is, can we prove that we are not all in a matrix right now? Since if we are, we’re within that layer of abstraction, I’m not sure how we could prove otherwise. And yet we’re still responsible, ‘cause God says so. :)

BillM: Blogger addiction will be a casualty of this transition. But you’ll have to look at it from my end: Blogger dependency sucks. Being dependent on Blogger’s server is not something that makes computing fun. Because MT resides on my server, it will allow me to take total control of what goes on. Hopefully, the improvement in the BHT experience will be worth it for all of us. On lurkers- the people who write me are great folks. I’ve had a minimum of idiots. Many of them are people who read EVERYTHING on here. I do believe the lurker interaction can be a positive, if we learn which posts to “turn on” comments for, and which ones to leave them off. So enjoy your blogger window while it lasts! :-)

Phillip, The template looks good. We should chat, so we can coordinate efforts. Send me an IM or and email and let me know how to get ahold of you.

Just to let everyone know what is going on: JimN and Phillip have converted me, though I have no idea what religion I’ve joined. There is a MT BHT in existence as we speak. Phillip and Jim are working to get it as identical to the current BHT as possible. There will be some changes in the transition.

1)Everyone will have to sign up as an author by sending either Jim or me your name and a password.) Unlike Blogger, all the authorization happens on my end. DON’T DO IT YET!! But it will happen.
2) We will be turning “comments” off initially, and then my plan is to turn them on later when we have demonstrated we can have a good running blog conversation without them. When comments come on, interaction with lurkers will occur, which is a mixed bag.
3) There will be a “Two BHT” era in the very near future. Until I am comfy with tweaking the new template, I won’t be shutting down the blogger operation.

It just occurred to me that I should say that I read all the BHT in blogger, so my preference of newest at the bottom might not be feasible at all on the BHT page.