Eric: I’ll take one of those Van Morrison CDs, if somebody happens to send you two.

Regarding the Gideons: Last time they were on my campus, I smiled and said “No thanks, I have one” (I did too, right in my backpack), but I did stop to shake his hand and give a word of encouragement. I think he took it pretty well. I can’t say that distributing the Word is a bad thing, even if it is only a NT. Infinitely better than giving out Chick tracts, IMHO.

Also, thanks to the Gideons, there’s always a KJV in any hotel/motel I stay in. There’s something just kind of cool about that.

Thanks for the advice, Jim. It never occured to me to freak them out!

If I thought saints should be praised, I’d say, “Saints be praised!!!” If I were an astrologist, I would thank my lucky stars. But as it is, I can say, without any hint of blasphemy whatsoever:

VAN MORRISON HAS A NEW CD COMING OUT!!!! On the BLUE NOTE label, no less!!!!!!

All of you who have been looking to buy me a gift for under $20, here you go. Strike while the iron is hot.

Eric, I’ve had the same experience with regards to the Gideons. I sometimes wonder if their approach—thrusting Bibles into the hands of everyone they see—is actually productive, though. I’ve seen plenty of people take them just so that they can deface them, or use their pages on art projects, or to smash flies, or whatever. It seems like a waste. Plus, I don’t exactly like seeing the Scriptures abused like that, even though I know there’s no real significance to its physical reproduction.

Scott, I actually think that the Sodom story demonstrates that they weren’t dealing with actual orientations. If these were guys that only liked guys, why would Lot have offered his daughters? No, I think these were men who had adopted the ever-popular “screw anything that moves” orientation.

Eric, their disappointment is simple. They want you to take the Bible anyway and give it away. They view Bible distribution as a sacrament, and they disbelieve that you are a Christian because you weren’t handing out Bibles when they met you.

Or maybe they hear, “No thanks, I already have one” all the time from people who obviously don’t.

Or maybe, they are thinking, “Man, all these Bibles are heavy, and I’ve got to schlep them all over campus. Couldn’t this guy give me a break and take one? What would it hurt?

In any case, I suggest that in the future, you respond the way I do whenever I encounter Gideons, street evangelists, or youth groups handing out tracts. I just mutter

Ph-nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

That usually sends ‘em packing.

The Gideons are on campus today. I think they do a great thing—I am, of course, in favor of as many people having access to the Bible as possible—but I always wonder why they look so wounded and/or offended when they offer me a Bible and I say, “I’ve got one already,” or, if I’m feeling overdisclosurely (yes, I invented that word), “I’ve got several and I’m a Christian.” But, in my experience, the fact that I have a Bible (or several) and the fact that I am a Christian does nothing to dispell the hurt/offended look, and indeed sometimes exacerbates it. Isn’t it a good thing that I want them to have more Bibles to give out to people who don’t have them? It’s almost like they’re saying, “Hey, we’re on the same team—act like it!” But I think I am acting like it, by allowing others to get the Bible I may have needlessly taken. I don’t know; it’s just on my mind.

Happy Birthday, Kurt. Have a Newport on me!

Scott: Griswold is an idiot, clearly, but I’m trying to reason through his points on his own terms. Answering a fool according to his folly, I know. I’m foolish.

Anyway, when the people of Sodom had over time turned en masse to perversion, wouldn’t that be something like an orientation? Also, I don’t recall anything in the NT injunctions at least that point one way or the other. That is, the acts are condemned without any reference to the mindset of the person committing the acts. In fact, when one considers the labeling of the sinner instead of a reference to the sin, I suppose one could make a case that one is clearly singling out the repeat offender, not an isolated “one time at band camp” incident.

Anyway, his idiocy aside, he is right in that as I understand it, Episcopal dioceses are entirely autonomous. That is how the Dallas diocese is headed by a very conservative Bishop, and Griswold can do nothing about it.

Next week, please pray for the gathering of conservative Episcopal leaders here in Dallas. They need wisdom. Lots of it.

This is a real easy year for me in baseball. Since I hate the Yankees, Braves, Giants, and Red Sox (in that order), I know who to cheer for.

Well, the head of the Episcopal Church, Bishop Frank Griswold has said that scriptures do not condemn same-sex relationships. He stated that only “discreet acts” were condemned because they weren’t part of a loving relationship. When confronted with scriptures that call homosexuality an abhomination without respect for the clandestiness of the acts, Bishop Griswell immediately stuck his fingers in his ears and began dancing in place singing “La la la la I can’t hear you la la la.”

BASEBALL: This post-season looks real good. Every series has an interesting angle…

MARLINS vs GIANTS – Two old skips who are reaping the rewards for years of efforts in the game. Both good guys but I’d enjoy seeing Felipe win it all for all his years of quiet patience and Christian dignity with the Expos. Big Guys in 4.

BRAVES vs. CUBS – Perennial winners vs. perennial losers. How can you not cheer for the Cubbies?. I’ll prognosticate with my heart and say Lil’ Bears in 5.

TWINS vs. YANKEES – Team megabucks vs. Team budget. Would love to see the Twins win this one. My heart says the team that was supposed to be contracted should beat the team with the big contracts in 3 – would prove that there is such a thing as justice – but you know that’s not gonna happen. Pinstripes in 4.

A’s vs. RED SOX - Billy Beane vs. the Curse. It’s time the @#$%&* curse was lifted. Crimson Hose in 5

NOTE: Thanks to the lurker who pointed out to me that division series are not best of 7 but best of 5 affairs. Thanks Jonathan!

Happy Birthday, Kurt! Put your teeth in so that you can eat some cake.

Eric, Hothouse Flowers are an Irish band. You can find more out about them here. Amazon has some sound clips.

taps the microphone and winces as it squeals in protest. Clears her throat and begins to sing

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Kurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt
Happy Birthday to you!

runs away, laughing maniacally

Does anyone know anything about The Hothouse Flowers? I just got an incredible Van Morrison tribute CD (called No Prima Donna) for an incredible $7.95, and The Hothouse Flowers, with whom I am not familiar, do a great version of Van’s “Bright Side of the Road.” Should I bother to check out more of their stuff?

Just add him to the list.

Actually, Jim, I thought you were the antichrist. (JN) (SW) (BS) (RSVP) (NAACP) (ESPN) . . .

Prince William is the anti-Christ. Now you know.

Scott’s Entertainment Update
I just want to take a moment to say this:

Kill Bill: Quentin T. is preparing to bend us over his knee and give us our first real paddling since Jackie Brown (which I liked). This movie (and it’s sequel) is going to rock like no other movie ever…

until…

The Matrix Revolutions: The trailer for this makes me cry. I nearly soiled meself watching it. It is going to rock our world like no other movie ever…

until…

Return of the King: Seriously, I nearly cried when I saw this trailer. The world will officially suck until next March or April when Kill Bill Pt. 2 is released.

Fascinating Vermont link. I wish I could read the whole thing. I would refrain from comparing it to treatment of Indigenous American Whoozits And Whatnots unless they’re being deliberately or implicitly killed, which I don’t think is happening, and besides I didn’t call even that a holocaust—I said it was the only thing that came close.

Scott: Thank you for putting the Frenchman in his place. I feared he might become angry if I reiterated my earlier distaste for franco-anything, but I had forgotten how ineffectual his anger would have been in any case. How silly of me!

Richard: All in fun, my good man. You had the sense to head west, so obviously you aren’t all bad. I suspect that if you were living back in Montreal, you too would be surprised at how offensive those awful people are. (Note the complete lack of any concrete accusations or facts!)

Jim: I suspect Jesse is actually thinking of the “Trail of Tears,” a truly sad historical event, not just general mistreatment of AmerIndians in general.

Well, about the treatment of Indians (which, I’m told, is preferred over “Native Americans” by most people who identify with this group, which is fair; I typically declare my ethnicity to be “Native American”, since I am, in fact, a native of America…), but Jonah Goldberg has made a pretty good case in the current print issue of National Review (available online via subscription) that liberal out-of-state interests are basically doing to native Vermonters what the U.S. did to the Indians. So if the Indians were subject to a “holocaust”, then maybe Vermonters are too?

Richard: I wouldn’t worry about the 2 of you coming to blows. You supported the French, and I’m pretty sure you would have surrendered pretty quickly. (SW)

PWinn: And to think we nearly came to blows over the French thing (JN)

Phillip: Some things actually are comparable to the Holocaust, of course. But not very many of them, and the only thing in American history that even comes close is the treatment of Native Americans. And even there you can’t speak of organized extermination after the late 1800’s, though there was plenty of racism and hatred involved up through today.

Otherwise, I entirely agree with you. Even if the U.S. is hostile to strangers on our shores, this is in no way comparable to the organized extermination of a whole population, which extended to the point of invading other countries looking for more Jews to exterminate. Really, I’d like to apply Godwin’s Law to pundits. Comparisons to Nazis are the political equivalent of “I know you are but what am I”—they have no real content, and can be repeated ad nauseum whenever you feel like taking the moral high ground.

English-only legislation is a silly, though understandable reaction to the irritation of not being able to talk to people. It’s the price you pay for being a melting pot, though. I consider the surfeit of delicious Thai restaurants acceptable compensation for not being able to speak to 7-11 employees.

Richard: Thanks! I had noted that it was mostly the older folks doing the dipping/bowing thing, not the younger families with kids, so I suspected as much. In fact, I would have assumed that, but Bill did mention that there had been a squabble at the church about three years ago and that the high church crowd all left. So seeing people still dipping made me wonder. I guess those folks are still high-church but didn’t want to be schismatic. Good for them. It’s enough for me that my kids are quiet and ponder the stained glass windows. Praying reverently will be “extra”. As in “extra-unlikely to happen any time soon.”

On credo-baptism, I am very reluctant to start a conversation on this, especially without the iMonk around to put a stop to it, but basically I’ll say this: I’m semi-ambivalent on paedo- vs credo-baptism. If paedo-baptism was going to be an issue, I’d go for it, though I’d generally rather not. Fortunately, you’ve assured me that it probably won’t even come up. As it happens, my oldest kid is about old enough to understand a lot of this for herself. The Episcopalians don’t actually do credo-baptism, do they?

I bet they’ll mention the pledge thing at the confirmation class! Bill did mention that they would have a confirmation class one of these fine days on a Saturday, but that I wouldn’t need to be confirmed at the end of the class if I didn’t want to be. I suggested that I wouldn’t know if I wanted to be or not without attending the class first. Ah, a conundrum!

When my wife and I joined a Baptist church a number of years ago, they accepted my word that I had been baptised by immersion at a Bible-believing church. The pastor shook his head at the thought that it was a tongue-talking church, but he went with it. My wife, it turned out, had never been baptised. Those Word-of-Faithers are funny. Raised by satellite broadcasts of Kenneth Copeland, constantly pleading the blood of Jesus (ack!) and immersing themselves in magic incantations of Psalm 91, they never once thought to obey God’s instructions regarding baptism. I’m not sure if either of her parents are baptised, but I’m pretty sure she is the only one of the six kids to be baptised. The Baptists took care of it, true to their name, and by baptism she became a member. Given the way churches work, she probably still is!

Maybe we’ll sneak our kids off to a Baptist church when they want to be baptised. Or back to Covenant Church, though they moved the baptismal out of the main sanctuary during the recent remodel of the stage. Er, platform.

Anyway, thanks again for the recommendation. At the risk of sounding smarmy, I truly believe that you were used by God to get us to Trinity Episcopal.

Jim: Yes, it’s always bugged me that Philip K. Dick missed out on the extra ‘L’ he deserved. I’m so used to typing my own name that I have to type his name by letting it all out and going back to delete the extra ‘L’ afterward! I have no idea why so many people miss out, the extra ‘L’ is just delightful. And yet, I’m in the minority (report), as most Philips are solitary, including my Biblical forbear.

Phillip:
1. Everyboby calls him Bill. I’m sure he would choke on “Father Bill” – it’s one of those “Low Church” things.

2. I’m sure inviting him to lunch would be fine.

3. The collar is work attire (It does look cool, doesn’t it?)

4. Much of it is learned by osmosis.

About the dipping/bowing stuff I suggest you speak to Bill. I predict he’ll discourage you from doing any of it (“Low Church” again)

The Vestry is the same as the board of deacons at a typical evangelical church.

5. I’m not sure about the confirmation thing.

6. When we were in the Episcopal church we were never required to break our credo-baptist beliefs and practice and we were never encouraged to have our children baptised.

7. I’ve no clue about the pledge thing.

English only laws and rhetoric have always confused me. Having had the opportunity to work with many who have come over from Asia I see no difference than what happened in my own family. From what I was told, my grandparents didn’t speak english very well, they were from another country and older when they got here. At home my parents did not speak a lot of english but in school they learned it and speak it now accent free.

Most of the people who have come here from Asia that I work with tell me they same is true with their kids (who were born here), they barely speak a word of their “mother” tongue and have no problems with english.

Seems to me this problem fixes itself, I know if I went to any other country now, I would never pick up the complexities of the language but any children I had probably would.

Richard: Our first “real” Sunday at Trinity went very well, thank you. I had mentioned to Bill on Wed night that you had expressed concern about starting me down the Canterbury trail, and he suggested that (1) there are far worse paths to travel and (2) I should indeed hold you completely responsible. I suspect he is very curious about us now, since I explained that my wife and I both grew up in Pentecostal and Word of Faith churches and were leaving a Pentecostal church now to come to Trinity. He had a very troubled look on his face, as if he was trying to figure out what to ask next. He never did ask.

It’s been so long since I’ve gone to a small church that I don’t know if I’m supposed to invite his family to lunch on a Sunday afternoon, or avoid personal entanglement of that sort, or what. Ah, well, I’ll figure it out. For that matter, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to call him, exactly. I’ve called him “Bill” when talking about him here and to my family, but I note that the Mitford books feature “Father Tim,” so maybe it should be “Father Bill”? I avoided names in direct address entirely on Wednesday night and Sunday morning. Any advice?

Anyway, on Sunday we very much enjoyed the service. We had missed a couple of week of his series on Mark, and came back in time to hear him speak on the five loaves and two fishes story. The kids, not coincidentally, covered the same story in their classes. There are still a couple of little tiny things about the service with which I’m not quite in sync. Songs without music that follow no tune I can divine, little things like that. No big deal. The kids were again angelic during the time before they were dismissed, which surprised me. Though my son did insist with tears in his eyes that the kneeler be left down for him to put his feet on while we were sitting, just like the folks in the next aisle over were doing.

We headed out the front door after service this time, since I had promised Father/Rector/His Honor/William/Bill that we would say hi. Fortunately, it was easy enough to loop around and pick up the kids. In fact, aside from the pause to say Hi, we might have beat the “crowd” trying to get through the door to the coffee!

I do have a couple of questions you might be able to help me answer, Richard. Or Jack, or anyone who can email me at pwinn@winn.com (you’ll get a message from Spamarrest if you’ve never emailed me before, it’s legit).
1. What do I call the rector? I’m pretty sure “Bill” is okay, as is “Gavin” for the assistant rector, but maybe I’m wrong.
2. So is he expecting me to invite him to lunch? I’d be happy to, but maybe I shouldn’t?
3. Is he required to always wear the cool collar in public, or just while performing church duties?
4. Any ideas on where I can learn about the little things lifelong Episcopalians probably don’t even think about, like dipping and praying briefly before entering a pew, and what exactly the vestry is responsible to do, and maybe others I’m missing?
5. As adult converts (of sorts) to Anglicanism, are my wife and I probably expected to go through confirmation the next time it is made available?
6. Since the youngest of my kids is almost three, am I likely to be expected to have them baptised, or is the “dedication” with a dab of oil on the forehead and prayer with a pastor that my kids had at my last church good enough? Is the dedication invalidated if one of the pastor prayed in tongues? Okay, I’m half-joking on that last part. Seriously, though, Anglicans don’t seem to believe as many Roman Catholics do that the baptism of infants is for the remission of original sin, so ???
7. When do I sit down and make my financial pledge with somebody?

I’m sure there are others, but that’s off the top of my head.

Jim: In chatting with my brother, we quickly got off the topic of what happens to unopposed points in a debate as I actually re-read the piece (I use the term in purpose) in detail and realized just how over-the-top it is. Isn’t it stereotypically racist of him, for example, to assume that “a large number of immigrants learning English for the first time, and poor women coming off welfare” are necessarily going to be the victims of “intolerance and discrimination”? And isn’t it “moral equivalence” when he makes statements comparing the holocaust to “English-only legislation, anti-immigrant crackdowns, and welfare cutbacks thanks to widespread stereotypes and a constant drumbeat of rhetoric against the so-called underclass?”

For that matter, let’s play a Sesame Street style “What’s the difference?” game:
1. English-only legislation (which hasn’t passed, by the way) affects those who don’t speak English, which is a choice. The consequences are confusion and perhaps an inability to take advantage of government services.
2. Anti-immigrant crackdowns (by which I assume he meant anti-illegal-immigrant crackdowns) affect those who are in the country illegally, which is usually a choice. The consequences are that the law-breaker is given a free bus ride or plane ticket back home.
3. Welfare cutbacks affect all people who depend on welfare, not just minorities. In fact, I am offended at the implication that minorities are the primary recipients of welfare! What racist claptrap! In any case, the consequences is that people receive less free money.
4. The holocaust affected people who happened to be born Jewish, and others. No choices, no options. The consequences were deadly and an abomination that will stand four hundreds or thousands of years to come as one of the darkest periods in human history.

So which of these four things isn’t like the others? What a loser!

Anyway, addressing the particular class that is the subject of the article, it seems that they were teaching a class entitled “Learning the Holocaust” and decided, strangely enough, to focus on the holocaust. Go figure? Anyway, let’s pretend, as the author seems to be, that the class is more general and focuses on racism instead. Let’s pretend it is the only class in the entire curriculum that deal with race issues at all, though I’m reasonably sure it is not. If both of those things were true, then they would be guilty of teaching about racism and picking the biggest example of racist horror ever. Wow, what a shock!

You know what would be sick as far as I’m concerned? Outlining things like English-only legislation as an example of the horrors of racism without pointing out that racism can lead to much worse things like the freaking holocaust!

Argh! It’s okay. I’m fine. Thanks for your concern. Just a sip of water, here…No really, I’m fine. Now I remember why I avoid certain websites.

Anyway, as it happens, I am very sensitive to the plight of immigrants, having had some experience with the process. I sympathize with those who cannot speak English, as I’m limited to English and Pig Latin myself despite several wasted years of Spanish courses. And I do truly sympathize with people who need welfare to get by, though my family refused to accept government assistance when we qualified for it when I was young. I am not a hard-hearted man, and I do not deny racism in the here and now. It exists and it is awful stuff. I have been discriminated against based on my age and gender, but rarely if ever because of the color of my skin, and never to the extent that some of my darker-skinned friends have reported.

But we’re talking about the holocaust, man, and nothing compares.

Phillip, I raise the “one el or two” question because the only other Phil in my life is a one-el’er.

So Phillip - How did your first real Sunday at Trinity go?

In my experience a No-Smoking section in a restaurant is about as good as a No-Peeing section in a pool.

Jesse: Everybody mocks the card. What are we up to now, 40 out of 54? 41? It seems to me that they’ve done their job.

And the Tycho link is very funny. Oregon Trail was brilliant, but like most software it simply couldn’t account the incredible complexity of real life. Oh well. I liked 7 Cities of Gold on the C64, too.

Scott: Thanks also for the PDF link. I had found a similar page before, but I like actual books, so I’ll probably still fork over the money. I wish it was $10 instead of $17, but I just found out this morning that my brother gave me a $35 Amazon gift card last Christmas, so I’ll consider that providential and buy two! (The Christmas card and Amazon gift card were in my other brother’s messy bedroom. He was supposed to hand-deliver the card when he visited, but forgot it.)

Jim: I’ll have to run this by my forensics-oriented brother, but I’m pretty sure that there is such a rule within organized debate. According to his IM away message, he’s sleeping now (college kids!), so I’ll have to get back to you.

And there is a rule: Phillip with two ells is correct, all other spellings are wrong. There just isn’t in one ‘L’ to represent who I am.

Scott: I’m not sure which church #5 I like more. ;-)

So you’re from a P/C background, and are current switching from a Baptist to a Presbyterian church? No wonder your mother clucks at you!

I know I’ve had words about a certain particular unfriendly church here during my own search, but I do believe that there are much better opportunities to get to know people than Sunday morning. That’s where all of the visitors show up, after all, and why would you waste time getting to know people that will never come back? The first time we went to Trinity, one determined older woman did introduce us to a few families with younger kids, which was nice, but we really didn’t get the kind of friendly response one might hope for until we went to a Wednesday night service. It helps that dinner is served before the Bible study on Wednesday nights. It might have also helped that the rector sat down by us and yucked it up with us for the half-hour. (Boy, Richard, did he have some stories about you!) (Okay, I was just kidding on that last bit, but he was fascinated with the idea that we had “met through the internet,” meaning the rector and me, via you.)

Anyway, I liked all three Presbyterian churches we went to, more or less, so I hope thinks work out on the friendliness front for you.

JS: I spoke to the French about those cards. They didn’t mean anything by it – they just needed something for the Germans to play with next time they need a break from marching through the streets of Paris.