Michael, you wrote

In the matter of denominations, I am quite clear: It is unethical to seek to gain a spouse or a child into a church when the father (or other spouse) is actively seeking to have the family in church together.

It depends on what you mean by “denomination.” If I was being actively recruited by a Jehovah’s Witness, my wife couldn’t blame them for being unethical. They believe that they are the true church and that if you ain’t wit’ ‘em, you’re doomed. Now if a random baptist proselytizer tried to persuade me to “convert” from my baby-splashing presbyterian convictions, then that would be a different thing. In the case of the JW, I can’t blame them for wanting to rescue me from the path of destruction. I can disagree with their convictions and find them erroneous. But I would be wrong to fault them for a moral infraction just because they acted on what they believed.

In answer to Sharon’s question about whether you’d receive a husband into your church if the wife were in a different faith, you said:

Not if it would divide the spiritual unity of the family. Scripture clearly gives the priority to the family and marriage in spiritual unity.

And then later:
I cannot see the ethical value of receiving someone into the church over the objections of a husband.

Again, I don’t understand such a scenario, which is sounding more like a cult that is taking advantage of someone by deception or coercion. Suppose in your SBC church you strike up a relationship with a visitor who turns out to be a member of a Mormon family, but who believes the Gospel. They tell you that in their judgment that they cannot find the Gospel in the church that their family is committed to. You agree and would like to welcome this person into your church. Would it be accurate to say that you are seeking to divide the family member from the rest of his family? That certainly might be how the head of the family would perceive it, but, seen more objectively, it wouldn’t be accurate at all, would it? Would you tell the Mormon seeker to remain in their faith? Not when you believe that this person’s spiritual well-being would be greatly hindered by doing so, right?

Are you posing your scenario and questions fairly?

Finally, can we cut David some slack? He’s not the Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, and I’d like to think I’m not the only one finding this a grueling discussion as long as (a) he is required to be the spokesman for All Things Catholic, and (b) the rest of the bar levels its assertions and arguments under the unchallenged presupposition that the Catholic view on doctrine X is irrational and unbiblical. I’m sure this isn’t the intention of all my good fellows here, who I don’t mean to rebuke (who am I anyway?), but, in a word, damn. Can we get a good QOTD, and quick?

Piling on Tom is still perfectly appropriate, however :-)