I’ve got this nonsense-to-English translator almost working now, let’s see what we get…

The simple truth is well… simple, some things we will know when we see Him.

War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Simplicity is too complex to understand. Effort is meaningless.

To swill beer then theorize is good, but how many of you folks refine your identity this way?

I’m a teetotaler, but I still practice drunken character assassination.

Not that I am against theological discussion or education, or that I have found fault in your site, but I have begun to wonder what motivates folks who participate in public forums such as yours.

This new-fangled “computer” stuff is all strangeness. In my day it was fashionable to wear a potato on your belt! Of course, your motivations are open to question, while the motivation for me sending this email is self-evident.

When preaching a message the last thing needed is for us to do it to define ourselves.

“The name Sinn Féin (pronounced /ʃɪn feɪn/ in English, [ʃiːɲ fʲeːnʲ] in Irish), which means “ourselves” or “we ourselves,” has been applied to a series of political movements since 1905 in Ireland, each of which claim or claimed sole descent from the original party established by Arthur Griffith in 1905.”

If definition of “ourselves” is not the last thing needed when preaching, it’s certainly pretty low on the list. I’m mentioning preaching here as a random word-association thing, because I figure most of you have heard some preaching before. Also, turnips.

What is it you wish to archive in shaping the motivations of Christians?

[ Note: The Transgarbulator 3.11 beta suggests that “archive” should actually be “achieve,” but it’s only a beta, so I’ve told it to go with the translation as written, without making word-substitutions. ]

You’re Christians—most of you, anyway—and I flatly disbelieve your claims to enjoy conversation with each other, so I’m going to suggest some alternate, more nefarious motives for your ongoing participation in this site (as well as your refusal to properly wear potatoes on your belts). You’re attempting to brainwash Christians by forcing them to load the site, make the commitment to read backwards, memorize the dozen or so active players, and then “educate” them. And you archive it all! Clearly, this is subversive, so what are your demands?

I assume you consider the motivations of commenter’s secondary in preference to the material submitted if it makes for good discussion.

[ Note: The Transgarbulator 3.11 beta suggests that the apostrophe in “commenter’s” is misplaced, and the “secondary” is not actually a possession of a singular “commenter.” Even though it is still a beta, the sentence is completely incomprehensible with the apostrophe in place, so I removed it before feeding it back through the TG 3.11 beta in only moderately incomprehensible form. ]

You allow donkeys to speak truth. You allow people who have matured beyond the point of sending random critical emails to disinterested websites owners to participate in this so-called “discussion” you claim to be having. You allow people with impure hearts, and women, to speak.

Thanks for reading my e-mail.

The nurse is coming with my meds, I’ve got to run!