Did I tell you that Monday, September 17th, I got trapped in a car with Jesus for 7 hours? And that ever since then…well…..this Jesus character, if you shut up long enough and listen to him…..things change.

He really cuts through the bullshit. (Leave it.) My bullshit, at least. He makes things clear. One word answers. Lots of “I’ll handle that. Not your concern. All my problem.” And so on. It’s a wild ride after you get started, and it’s impossible to get even one move ahead of him in the game. See…I heard him, did what he said, and I kept saying, “Now I know how that’s going to turn out.”

Uh—huh. Wrong.

Life isn’t one of those Christian movies. Jesus always has something else going on. So here I am, right back there with Jesus again, and he’s being maddeningly simple…again. More one word answers delivered without due consideration of my opinions. Of course, he’s right all the time, which puts him at a distinct advantage. I’ve never met anyone who was nicer about taking things away from you. To get your hands (and heart) open, he can be stubbornly relentless.

And he loves me. He won’t quit loving me. When I bow down in shame, he comes and sits down next to me and I feel that hand rubbing my shoulders. It’s embarrassing. Then I start thinking about everything that’s happening, and he never leaves. He just stays there while I cry. (I’m too old and fat to cry. He doesn’t seem to mind.) When I’m done, he gets out that bottle of his and collects a few tears, looks at me, gives me one of those one word sentences again, and smiles like someone who knows way too much. It’s like he crawls inside of me, gets behind all the phony layers of my act, and just stays there.

Sometimes I just wish he’d go away, and leave me alone. He makes things very complicated…and very simple. He won’t give up. I want him to give up.

Please, Jesus. Don’t give up on me.